“Mom. How come when Smokey has her collar on, her hair poofs up?”
” ‘Cus her mane is growing in. We told you all about that.”
“Her mane?”
“Yea. Just like a lion… And when it is fully grown in, she will be all lion. Then she will eat deers, antelopes, people, that kind of thing”
“….. . . .really??!”
“Yes. We told you all of this. wait. Let me show you a picture”
“See. This dog’s mane is fully grown so she is all lion now.”
“But. She isn’t big enough to be a lion.”
“Well no, they don’t turn into lions. They just think they are lions and start acting like them. The dog in the picture didn’t turn yellow did it?”
” No. But…. will she really eat us?”
“Not if she can’t catch you. In the summer time we will start to train -”
“We’re gonna train her to not to eat us?”
“No, we’re going to start training you guys to run faster. If she can’t catch you sooner or later she will give up. Besides, her mane has just started to grow in, so you have lots of time to train. I wouldn’t worry too much over it.”
Kids are SO trusting.
If there is one thing that I learned today, it would be that I would much rather take 56 two year olds to a candy store and tell them NO, than to ever again ride in a vehicle with a dog who shows her car sickness from both ends.
Repeatedly.
Excuse me whilst I go scrub my hands with bleach. Again.
You Americans should be Thankful that I am sparing you pictures.
***********
In other news. I have started a Google reader for PayPerPost Blogs. If you have one and it is not on this list, or if your friends niece’s dog has one and it is not on the list,
please, feel free to spam my commetn section with a link. Each day I will read
or at least open each blog up so that you have an extra traffic count.
A few times this week I have turned my computer off to go to bed only to find it on when I wake up. I know I turned it off becuase I do so every night, so please don’t suggest I forgot.
This morning my computer was not only on, but whoever had turned it on had forgotten to log out of yahoo messenger.
Here is what I read:
SmokieTehBandit: So as I was saying last night, if you just continue the whining, eventually they will get tired of it and let you out!
SamsonsDelihlah: Nope. My human is one hard ass case Bandit. No treats after seven, No chewing on the books, No eating Sam’s homework, always make potty outside - thats the worse one of all!
SamsonsDelihlah: And it’s really cold here! I cant take it anymore, Bandit! I think tonight I am going to kill all the left socks I can find!
SmokieTehBandit: Lah. I think it’s time you faced the truth. You need to get out of there. What are they going to do to you next? Shave you bald??
SamsonsDelihlah: Oh Bandit! You don’t think they would…. would they? Even they aren’t that bad…right?
SmokieTehBandit: How cold was it?? Hmmm? Think about it Lah, thats all I’m asking. There’s room in my kennel if you need it.
SamsonsDelihlah: But. It’s twelve hours away BY CAR Bandit! My legs are four inches long! That would take me years!
SmokieTehBandit: Don’t worry about it. I’ll get you some cash, you can get a bus tic- gotta go the humans are up!
And just a few minutes ago I found Smokie stealthily pawing through my purse only to cock her head to the side pretending innocence when I asked her what the hell she was doing.
SamsonsDelilah is Shelli’s new puppy. Should I warn her?
I tucked my boys into bed with kisses and cuddles completely unaware of a ghastly murder that had taken place just moments before. I was to remain unaware of the crime through out the tucking in, the picking up of that days dirty clothes and the picking out of outfits for the next day.
Still unaware of the carnage that awaited me, I walked wearily up the stairs, fists pressed into my lower back, images of a good book and a HOT bath drowsily running through my mind.
However, my relaxing bath was not to be. I opened the door to the bathroom, crossed to the tub, arm reaching for the hot water tap, only to see blue. Blue on the side of the tub, blue in the tub. Blue on the top of the toilet. Blue on my good towels. The ones the children are not to use.
The remains of a deadly explosion were spread on ever surface you can imagine. The floor, the sink, the wall, my hair brush. Even the dog, who had followed me into the bathroom and was now rolling in ecstasy, grinding sticky blue -now with fresh strips! toothpaste into her fur.
Joy.
