∗ Posted by bluepaintred on 01.18.2008
∗ I'm a Dumbass, LOL, Pictures
∗ Comments (13)

Exhibit A: (some of ) My Socks

Exhibit B : Hub’s Socks

Exhibit C : Stuperman’s Socks

In conclusion : I WIN!

I fully expect that scientific journalists and parenting magazines will be knocking on my door to interview me any minute!

∗ Posted by bluepaintred on 01.17.2008
∗ Husband, I'm a Dumbass, LOL, Mommyblawgin, Pictures, Stuperman
∗ Comments (18)

Ovens are hot.

To take advantage of that warmth you need to wait for a minus thirty three day before deciding to bake cookies.

Mix up a double batch of the chocolate chip cookie recipe you stole from Fab last winter. Forget to take a picture of gigantic ball of chocolate-chip studded dough. Decide a lolcat talking about cookies is an OK substitute.

Add Smarties to the top cus you are cool like that!

Pop those suckers into the oven. Wait eight minutes. Remove. (is anyone writing this stuff down?)

Wait for them to cool.

Feed annoying little people who keep asking “Are they done?”

You should eat one too!

“But,” you say, “That is only 24 cookies. What did you do with the rest?”

Good Question internets, goood question.

You see, the one and ONLY benift to living in Saskatchewan in the winter is that the entire outdoors becomes your freezer.

Make the cookies like above, but do not cook them, instead, mash them together, cover them with wrap - please note taped edges to foil the wind -

And toss them onto your front deck, (or you can put on your toque, your husband’s shoes and walk out in nothing else but your fuzzy Pooh jammies and place them carefully on the deck - your call) and walk away. Use much willpower not to sneak back and begin eating frozen cookie dough.

Do NOT forget to leave a ball of raw dough in the refrigerator for your husband. Forgetting this step is a sure way to incur his wrath!

In the morning morning, rescue the frozen cookies, package them, and store in the inside.the.house freezer.

Helpful hint : Stack packaged cookies precariously in the freezer so that they fall out and smack you in the head as timely little reminder they are there. This will prevent freezer burn.

And there you have it, Cookies in the wintertime.

∗ Posted by bluepaintred on 01.16.2008
∗ Blue Boy, Holidays, Husband, I hate winter, I'm a Dumbass, I'm a big baby, Pictures, because snow fucking sucks, boys
∗ Comments (18)

What with the move to wordpress and all of the associated changes, there have been a few things I wanted to blog about but haven’t had the time.

*~*

A huge, HUGE thank you to Nobody and Sheila for all their behind the scenes work on Bluepaintred; Wordpress edition. Don’t worry Shelli, I will be drafting you into service, very soon!

On Sunday last, we took the boys in for their annual photo with Santa. (For the Third year in a row, we are first in line!) The two older ones went up without parental assistance, But I took Stuperman up and lifted him onto the Big Guys lap myself. I backed out of the shot, but was still close enough to hear their conversation ( and join in).

Hohoho. Merry Christmas Little guy. How old are you

*stuperman shows three fingers* Mostly four.

Have you been a good boy this year?

*Stuperman does not answer*

What do you want from Santa little guy?

*Stuperman mumbles*

I ask him. What do you want from Santa?

*Stuperman mumbles something again*

*apparently we have given up. There is a line of about 100 kids waiting for their photos behind us*

Santa says, Well, I’ll see what I can do.

*After the photo is taken, the children are offered a treat from the jolly fat man*

Would you like popcorn or a candy cane?

*Stuperman mumbles*

I ask; Popcorn or a candy cane, honey?

*Stuperman mumbles*

Santa brings both items out from behind his back; Do you want the popcorn or the candy cane?

I ALREADY TOLD YOU! I WANT A MONSTER TRUCK! Stuperman screams.

*he takes the popcorn and we leave. *

Talking with my sister VIA instant messaging she referred to Christmas as Stressmas. I like it. We need to start a campaign to stop the usage of the word Christmas. From this point on, Christmas IS Stressmas!

I’m a moron. Let me tell you why. Last Saturday, driving into the city we passed a church. Their Christmas Decorations consisted of a cross covered in pretty LED lights. (Enter stupidity)

What a stupid Decoration, I said to Hubs. I mean there is a tree right there they could have lit up. Why would they light up the cross?

*Blank stare from Hubs*

No really, I continued, its retarded.

Uh. Christmas is Jesus’ birthday…

And if that wasn’t bad enough, on Wednesday I was sitting in BFF Kissy’s living room making gift bags. The Radio was on a Station that was playing JUST Christmas Carols. The Stoopids Returneth

Why on earth are all these songs so Jesus-ish?

BFF Kissy and her mom are Catholic. I received both a blank (From BFF) and disapproving (From BFF’s Mom) stare.

This time I caught on quicker. Oh yea. The whole born on Christmas thing, right?

∗ Posted by bluepaintred on 12.14.2007
∗ BFF, Blogger Buddies, Holidays, Husband, I'm a Dumbass, because snow fucking sucks, boys
∗ Comments (13)

A lot of you know that I do paid post here and on other sites. Mainly on other sites. On Where Was I, Hubs and I need to do G rated commercial for a company called bed in a box. They are a company that sells memory foam mattresses and the platforms they go on.

If the company likes our commercial our prize is a queen size mattress and bed - a value of almost 2000.oo.

I won’t embarrass myself by telling you how old my bed and mattress are now.. but my husband has known the mattress for a lot longer than he has known me. And we met in ‘96.

I want a new bed dammit!

…but we have no idea what to do for this video. There are no guidelines other than it must be G rated.

ANY suggestions are welcome.

pee ess: anyone who wants to help edit the video say AYE

∗ Posted by bluepaintred on 12.13.2007
∗ Blogger Buddies, Contest, Games, Halp, Husband, I'm a Dumbass, confused
∗ Comments (16)