You see, the problem is I am a closet hypochondriac. Here’s a great example. I was 14 weeks pregnant with my first son and did not know becuase I had convinced myself I had Colon Cancer. Yea. (Actually, the symptoms are pretty similar. Kinda) So, when something goes wrong in my body, I try and ignore it in hopes that I am imagining it and it will go away.
This seldom works. Luckily, My doctor is an awesome guy who is more than willing to deal with my issues. Except this time my issues were not in my head. He found the lump in my breast in under two seconds - which is pretty good seeing as his search area was a full sized C cup and I had neglected to get a grid pattern tattooed on beforhand.
He is confidant that it is a cyst becuase my breast’s are fiborocystic (sp?) in the first place, but he is not willing to take the chance that it is just a cyst and has made an appointment for me to have an ultrasound done on my breast. The appointment is 10:15, Valentines Day.
I think it is rather odd that my two appointments - both concerning cancer- bracket the anniversary of my mothers death from cancer.
I am going to try and convince the ultrasound technition to print out a picture of my boob baby for me to take home. The hubs thinks it is unlikely she will do it, but I figure it can’t hurt to try.
To take advantage of that warmth you need to wait for a minus thirty three day before deciding to bake cookies.
Mix up a double batch of the chocolate chip cookie recipe you stole from Fab last winter. Forget to take a picture of gigantic ball of chocolate-chip studded dough. Decide a lolcat talking about cookies is an OK substitute.
Add Smarties to the top cus you are cool like that!
Pop those suckers into the oven. Wait eight minutes. Remove. (is anyone writing this stuff down?)
Wait for them to cool.
Feed annoying little people who keep asking “Are they done?”
You should eat one too!
“But,” you say, “That is only 24 cookies. What did you do with the rest?”
Good Question internets, goood question.
You see, the one and ONLY benift to living in Saskatchewan in the winter is that the entire outdoors becomes your freezer.
Make the cookies like above, but do not cook them, instead, mash them together, cover them with wrap - please note taped edges to foil the wind -
And toss them onto your front deck, (or you can put on your toque, your husband’s shoes and walk out in nothing else but your fuzzy Pooh jammies and place them carefully on the deck - your call) and walk away. Use much willpower not to sneak back and begin eating frozen cookie dough.
Do NOT forget to leave a ball of raw dough in the refrigerator for your husband. Forgetting this step is a sure way to incur his wrath!
In the morning morning, rescue the frozen cookies, package them, and store in the inside.the.house freezer.
Helpful hint : Stack packaged cookies precariously in the freezer so that they fall out and smack you in the head as timely little reminder they are there. This will prevent freezer burn.
We have multiple email addresses. One I use for signing up with things. I get three hundred spam emails in there a week. Its Yahoo.
One is for my blogging, my gmail account. Me and hubs use that for any email we actually want to receive.
One is for family and Hubs to use. It has a built in spam protector that SUCKS ASS. It takes any email it wants, holds it hostage for a week to ten days and then sends us an email telling us which emails it has stolen and put in quarantien.
This morning I got the Hey we stole your mail wanna see it? email.
Lets see. Spam. delete, delete delete, oh! Youtube comments! Deliver. delete. delete Oh! Another YouTube comment, deliver. delete .delete.. this went on for a while. There were emails from friends and family in quarantine, there were comments from bloggers in quarantein and of course, those two YouTube comments.
Nov 30, 2007, 06:51 AM I saw the Christmas video you posted on you tube and was interested in featuring it in a kids Christmas segment on our daytime television show. If you can email me or give me a ca I saw the Christmas video you posted on you tube and was interested in featuring it in a kids Christmas segment on our daytime television show. If you can email me or give me a call that would be great, my email is ******@*********.com and my phone # is 917-***-****. Look forward to hearing from you! Best, Stephanie
By itself I would have ignored and deleted it. I mean come on. A daytime TV show wanting a video of My son singing VERY badly? Riiiight.
And here is comment number two. Sent three days later, on December third, but I only got to see it THIS MORNING:
Away In A Manger Video Dec 03, 2007, 06:42 AM
I sent you guys an email last week about your son’s video and I wanted to follow up today with a little more information. I am a producer at the Rachael Ray show and we are puttin I sent you guys an email last week about your son’s video and I wanted to follow up today with a little more information. I am a producer at the Rachael Ray show and we are putting together this kids Christmas segment and would love to feature your video. If you can give me a call at 917-***-**** or email at ******@*********.com, that would be great! Best, Stephanie
OK. Now I am interested. I called my sister and she said yes there really is a show called the Rachael Ray Show and never ever call me this early again! Or Else! So I replied to the email address. A few minutes later I decided to call instead.
While I was in the middle of calling, A reply showed up in my inbox:
The segment actually taped already but we basically were doing a fun kids singing Christmas carols segment for our holiday show. Thanks though for getting back to me!
Best, Stephanie
LE SIGH. Stupid email provider. Its the tenth. The first email was sent the 30th and the second was sent on the 3rd of December.
Rainbow Man would have loved to see a clip of himself on TV, and it would have made for an awesome blog post … oh wait….
But I want to reassure you it is not me, and really. Would I lie to you?
In an case, my friend was telling me that last night after her bath. What? I am so not the only person in Canada who likes bathing! ANYWAY. Quit interrupting. I got She got out of the bath and went to her room to get dressed. But she noticed an ugly red bump on her vaginal area. Yuck. An ingrown hair.
So my friend was feeling lazy, and instead of getting up and getting a pin or a pair of tweezers to remove that pesky hair, she took this cute little pocket exact-o knife from her bedside table - No I didn’t ask her why she had an exact-o knife in her bedside table. Just shut up and let me type!
She figured she could just use the pointy sharp end of the blade and nic it out real quick like, but her hand slipped and she cut herself.
The public service announcement bit?
If you do not want to go to the clinic to get two quick stitches on your vagina, please do not use a knife of any kind near it.
If you do? Your seriously fucked up. The doctor WILL laugh at you when you or uhm, your friend, tries to explain.
