If you were to look at family life like a business, I Really need to work on my business performance management. That or Multitasking!
:cry:
Today, December 15th, 2007, ten days before Christmas, Something big Happened at Casa Del Bluepaintred.
Sigh.
Let me back up a wee tiny bit. This morning Hubs and I went into the city! Awesome! 25 feet visibility! Fog And Snow! Yay! (We had shopping to do or no one was eating!) Along the way we stopped in at a gaming store and bought Ratchet and Clank and Sonic with some silver sonic dude for The Boys to give to Hubs for Christmas.
Hubs has been practicing his surprised face all afternoon.
When we got home, and the children returned from their sleepover at Nana and Papa’s I told them to go to my room so I could show them what I had bought for them to give Daddy. With the older ones in my room, Stuperman yelled I’M DOOOONE and just like that, I had a butt to wipe.
Walking back into my room, I could not help but notice the speed that Rainbow Man moved away from my closet. The closet holding all the gifts. You know. The ones from Santa. The ones in their distinctive Santa Wrapping Paper.
Sigh.
BlueBoy, who had been looking out my window while RM snooped, was sent out of the room, and Hubs was called in.
And thus, Ten days before Christmas, I made my son cry by explaining that there was no Santa. I feel we had no choice but to tell him. It was either explain the secret, or have him say “But. I saw that in your closet!” on Christmas Morning, and have him ruin the younger boys naivety.
But it still Sucks. 
What with the move to wordpress and all of the associated changes, there have been a few things I wanted to blog about but haven’t had the time.
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A huge, HUGE thank you to Nobody and Sheila for all their behind the scenes work on Bluepaintred; Wordpress edition. Don’t worry Shelli, I will be drafting you into service, very soon!
On Sunday last, we took the boys in for their annual photo with Santa. (For the Third year in a row, we are first in line!) The two older ones went up without parental assistance, But I took Stuperman up and lifted him onto the Big Guys lap myself. I backed out of the shot, but was still close enough to hear their conversation ( and join in).
Hohoho. Merry Christmas Little guy. How old are you
*stuperman shows three fingers* Mostly four.
Have you been a good boy this year?
*Stuperman does not answer*
What do you want from Santa little guy?
*Stuperman mumbles*
I ask him. What do you want from Santa?
*Stuperman mumbles something again*
*apparently we have given up. There is a line of about 100 kids waiting for their photos behind us*
Santa says, Well, I’ll see what I can do.
*After the photo is taken, the children are offered a treat from the jolly fat man*
Would you like popcorn or a candy cane?
*Stuperman mumbles*
I ask; Popcorn or a candy cane, honey?
*Stuperman mumbles*
Santa brings both items out from behind his back; Do you want the popcorn or the candy cane?
I ALREADY TOLD YOU! I WANT A MONSTER TRUCK! Stuperman screams.
*he takes the popcorn and we leave. *
Talking with my sister VIA instant messaging she referred to Christmas as Stressmas. I like it. We need to start a campaign to stop the usage of the word Christmas. From this point on, Christmas IS Stressmas!
I’m a moron. Let me tell you why. Last Saturday, driving into the city we passed a church. Their Christmas Decorations consisted of a cross covered in pretty LED lights. (Enter stupidity)
What a stupid Decoration, I said to Hubs. I mean there is a tree right there they could have lit up. Why would they light up the cross?
*Blank stare from Hubs*
No really, I continued, its retarded.
Uh. Christmas is Jesus’ birthday…
And if that wasn’t bad enough, on Wednesday I was sitting in BFF Kissy’s living room making gift bags. The Radio was on a Station that was playing JUST Christmas Carols. The Stoopids Returneth
Why on earth are all these songs so Jesus-ish?
BFF Kissy and her mom are Catholic. I received both a blank (From BFF) and disapproving (From BFF’s Mom) stare.
This time I caught on quicker. Oh yea. The whole born on Christmas thing, right?
A lot of you know that I do paid post here and on other sites. Mainly on other sites. On Where Was I, Hubs and I need to do G rated commercial for a company called bed in a box. They are a company that sells memory foam mattresses and the platforms they go on.
If the company likes our commercial our prize is a queen size mattress and bed - a value of almost 2000.oo.
I won’t embarrass myself by telling you how old my bed and mattress are now.. but my husband has known the mattress for a lot longer than he has known me. And we met in ‘96.
I want a new bed dammit!
…but we have no idea what to do for this video. There are no guidelines other than it must be G rated.
ANY suggestions are welcome.
pee ess: anyone who wants to help edit the video say AYE
Hubs has a thirty inch waist (feel free to hate him for it, I do) and a six foot inseam. For as long as I have known him, I have never seen him in a pair of pants that fits him properly. He would be able to get pants to fit his waist, but then he would be walking around in manpries, so he gets pants to fit his height and uses a belt to take in the extra foot of material in the waist.
Sigh.
I know that there are places that we can buy jeans that will fit him in both the waist and the leg, but you have to pay like seventy bucks for a pair. The way we shop for clothing is if it over twenty bucks, it’s too much. Except for shoes, and coats. And socks, I guess, becuase I once spent 21 dollars on a pair of socks, but man were they awesome!
For the last few months I have been trying to convince hubs that we should spend the cash and get him a pair that fits, and he can wear them just for special occasions, weddings and family gatherings and the like. Yes he wears jeans to weddings, nice, ill fitting black ones with a dress shirt and a sports coat. He looks good so STFU.
Hubs hates shopping. A lot.
Annnyway:
So I think it is time to go and get those jeans. I think you should get a pair tight enough to make a genital devision sign.
Uh. No thank you, I like my sperm count exactly where it is!
What? At Zero?
So … I guess we will go see Santa this weekend instead…
After we finished our nightly meal, and by we, I mean me, hubs and the eldest ate our food, and the dog ate the two younger children’s meal, Hubs took a shower.
I told him to hurry up as I wanted one too.
Normally, If I need a shower in the evening I hop in with him, but Rainbow Man had homework and without an adult sitting right.beside him he finds it impossible to tune out the other boys and do his work.
So hubs finished his shower and I went in to have mine. Shirt off I realized I had forgotten my razor in the other bathroom and was trying to convince him it was faster for him to get dressed and go get it than it would be for me to put my shirt back on.
Then the phone rang.
You see, his parents got their first internet capable laptop this afternoon, and were trying to access their email account. First up : trying to explain how to click the mouse. Then I tried to explain where to find the word in-box on his email program so he could put his new clicking skills to use.
All of this is happening at the same time the hubs is wagging his tail in my face. I tried to wave him away. No luck. The tail just kept wiggling, begging for attention mere inches from my face. I gave him a disgusted look AND managed not to laugh as he said in his most innocent voice “What? It’s clean. I just washed it!”
The fact that I did not laugh - while still on the phone with his parents who are now arguing about the viagra email in the spam folder- tells me I am due for yet another gold star.
