Please note. If you are related to me, by blood or marriage, a family friend, a neighbor, or even just someone I might walk past on the street and wave hi to, this post is NOT FOR YOU.

I’m serious. Here. Go look at kittens!

Ahem. Now that they are gone…

I Like Sex

I do. And I bet you do too. There is something both relaxing and exciting about sex. It’s more wonderful that socks, coffee and chocolate wrapped together in one deliciously fashionable product!

Recently I was offered the chance to pick any product under 50$ from Eden Fantasys in exchange for an  honest review. To sweeten the pot, Eden Fantasys is also letting me host a give away!!

Before I show you the item I chose from the store, I want to explain something. I. Am. Cheap. The cheapest of the cheap. If I was to take 50 dollars of MY OWN money, go to a sex store, and buy a toy, I would most definitely pick something safe, something known, something I would be SURE that I was going to like, becuase to buy something new and untried, if I didn’t like it, well…that would be a waste of money!

So when I was offered the chance to pick out a toy at someone else’s expense.. I decided to go a different route, a new and possibly scary route.

The rest of this post is under the fold due to the nature of the pictures – provided I figure the fold thingy out properly-

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Presenting : The Total Ecstasy Triple Stimulation Vibe! <— If you go ahead and click on that link it will take you to the product page. You will then notice that I chose to take total advantage of the 50$ limit. I shouldn’t have to say this, and I won’t again, but this link, and others in this post are NSFW or kids!

Straight off you will notice the part that I thought might be scary, but see, when it comes to sex, especially marital sex, I kind of feel it is important to explore new things. I’ve never had any type of anal sex toy before, so this was definitely something new!

Before I review how it is in action… let me show you a few more pictures.

Now I, like you probably have, had heard the term “rabbit vibrator” before, but honestly, I had NO idea that the rabbit meant it was in the shape of an actual rabbit! I might have SQUEE’d a little when I saw this.

The rabbit part of this vibrator is the clitoral stimulator. I will get back to that in a bit.

This photo is just to show you the size. the book beside it is a normal sized paper back. At first, the size can be intimidating, but in reality, it’s not like you are putting the whole thing inside, are you?

And this is to show you how easily moved, how flexible the anal stimulator is. Again, I will get back to that in a moment.

I want to talk a little about the bad parts of this product. (Sorry EF, but I did promise an Honest review!)

My first issue is that no where on the box does it tell me what this vibrator is made out of, and you HAVE to know that information before you can pick a lubrication to use. For example, you cannot use a product like Vaseline with a latex toy, the Vaseline will ruin the toy in no time flat. I had to log onto the website to find out, and a good thing I did, as my “normal” lube would have ruined this toy! The Total Ecstasy Triple Stimulation Vibrator is made of Jelly, and can only be used with water based or silicone lubes.

I feel that a toy of this…magnitude should have come with an instruction manual, or at least a leaflet detailing the proper cleaning of the toy, as well as how to insert the batteries.

Speaking of batteries, sigh. I really could have used an instruction manual about 8 feet long, and maybe a six week training course on how to put them in.

Annnd. That’s it about the bad.

Now, onto the good.

I decided to try this out on my own, to sort of introduce myself to it before asking it to involve itself in a three way with my husband.

And. There is no delicate way to say this. It works. Well. Maybe too well? I had barely turned it on and I was done. Done. Just.Like.That.

In the shaft of the toy are vibrating beads, and this, again, was something new to me in a toy. The beads knocking around in there give it a very …interesting feeling, so I can’t say for positive that it was the shaft that set me off, or the bunny ears, which are positioned PERFECTLY for maximum pleasure. Either way, Fun Times.

As for couple play, I should have picked a different product. While it is awesome for voyeuristic sex, it was cumbersome becuase of its anal and clitoral stimulator’s. If you refer back to the third photo, all that extra length comes in handy. There is ample room to not only get a good grip while playing without twisting yourself into a pretzle, but its shaped in sucha  way that your fingers are a breath away from the intensity switches.

Speaking of switches, there are two, and they slide very smothly up or down – but they aren’t so super sensitive that you will move your hand and accidentally turn them off – or on higher, which is nice.   The first switch controls the vibrating beads in the toy, and the second switch controls the anal and clitoral set. You can use them independently – having just the shaft in motion, or just the C&A in motion, or use them together.

And in case you  were wondering about shipping, the packaging is discreet enough that I would have it mailed to my super religious OMG IS THAT A PLAY BOY??!! YOU.ARE.GOING.TO.HELL mother in laws house with no worries! Check this shizz out! (You will note the box is open cus I was a wee bit excited to check out my new Sex Toy!)

Now, I am sure you are all a bit tired of hearing how much *I* enjoyed my toy, so how about this? Eden Fantasys has graciously offered me the chance to give one of YOU a 25$ gift certificate! How awesome is that?! All you need to do is this:

1.Comment on this post. Feel free to  head over to Eden Fantasys and tell me in your comment what toy you would love to try!

2.I would love to have a bit of extra exposure, so if you tweet this contest come back and leave the link*  in the comments for an extra entry! (If you decided to tweet, please make sure that the tweet comment is a separate comment, I’m not good at math, y’all!)

You can use this tweet, or make your own, just make sure to include the link!!

@bluepaintred and @edenfantasys are giving YOU a chance to win! http://tinyurl.com/y9wp7tq

This comment is open to US and Canadian** residents – unless your laws say NO! NO Contest for You!, in Which case, listen to the cops, yo, without them, donut shops would close! Contest Closes Monday, February First, Winner announced Tuesday, February Second

*(click on the time stamp under your tweet for the link)

∗ Posted by bluepaintred on 01.27.2010
∗ Uncategorized