It’s like the eggs, only with wires*

So my dad had those heart attack thingys, which I guess are rather inconvenient and some shit. He has a list of things he cannot do that is longer than I am tall.. which really isn’t saying much. I’m kind of short.

One of the things he isn’t allowed to do is mow the lawn, so whenever someone, us, my brother, or my step brothers come down to visit, they push the mower back and forth and round and round until the neighbour comes out to give them a gold star.

**Sidenote** My father’s dick ass fucker of a neighbour actually came out of his shit hole house and applauded my father after he mowed he lawn one day. This is the same neighbour who likes to shoot at my father’s dog with a pellet gun.

Anyway. At our house, when Micah mows, I  like to take the whippersnipper and trim along the edges. It gets the job done twice as fast, and I feel like I am doing my part. SO. When Micah started going back and forth and round and round with the lawn mower in my dad’s back yard I asked my dad where he keeps his whippersnipper so I could go along the fence.

Our whippersnipper is super light. I plug it in and hold down the button and away I go. Easy as pie. Dad’s, however, is quite different. It’s super heavy and has an engine. I tried to start it, but failed, and dad told me it needed gas. I can’t put gas in our car, so I made dad put gas in the whippersnipper for me. I still couldn’t start it, and that’s when I found out I have no muscles. My step mother (not the evil variety) stepped in and started it for me.

Happy as a pig in mud, I started along the fence.

Did you know that you can get electric fences for dogs? Well you can, and my dad got one for his dog. He ran this tiny yellow wire all along the fence. I have no idea how much an electric fence is for dogs, but I am guessing a lot. Many hundreds of dollars, even. And of course. I whippersnipped it. Actually, I got it so good it stalled the snipper and tangled the little yellow wire around the head. My stepmother, who hadn’t quite left the yard after starting the snipper for me, turned back and untangled it for me.

And she started it again, because of the aforementioned lack of muscles.

Not even two feet later, my step mother wasn’t even ten feet past me, I caught the very expensive yellow wire in the snipper. Again. But this time, I had moved over to the side of the house and had caught the wire so hard and so fast it yanked the whippersnipper out of my hands and bashed it into the side of the house.

And broke the whippersnipper.

But you know what? It’s the thought that counts, right?

RIGHT???!!!

*I pray to god that no one reading this understands the title.

∗ Posted by bluepaintred on 08.14.2009
∗ Uncategorized

Comments: 11

  1. I think it’s the thought that counts. :lol:
    Lynda´s last blog ..At Least I Won’t Make a Good Meal for a Vampire My ComLuv Profile

    Comment by Lynda - August 14, 2009 11:14 pm

  2. Note to self: When going to mow dad’s lawn, bring your own whippersnapperthingee with you…
    Sheila´s last blog ..I’m not ready My ComLuv Profile

    Comment by Sheila - August 15, 2009 12:13 am

  3. @Lynda – OMG. I love being right.

    @Sheila – Oh! pardon my Canadian! Whippersnipper = weed whacker, but is MUCH more fun to say. And yeah, If I remember I will be bringing my own whippersnipper to dads to finish the job I started.

    Comment by bluepaintred - August 15, 2009 2:13 am

  4. Oh dear! It is definitely the thought that counts. I would bring your own with you next time for sure. (see how I neatly sidestepped the whole weed wacker, whippersnipper thing? LOL)
    Twisted Cinderella´s last blog ..Saturday PhotoHunt – Artificial My ComLuv Profile

    Comment by Twisted Cinderella - August 15, 2009 7:41 am

  5. Blue, you’re adorable.
    Gwen´s last blog ..Meme Time: My Life According To The Beatles My ComLuv Profile

    Comment by Gwen - August 15, 2009 12:04 pm

  6. You crack me up! That is EXACTLY what would have happened to me in the same situation!

    You’re right–whippersnipper is a LOT more fun to say than weed whacker.

    Here’s one: try saying “chumbawumba” without laughing.
    phinz´s last blog ..Progress Report My ComLuv Profile

    Comment by phinz - August 15, 2009 3:17 pm

  7. Wow … just wow. LOL
    Monique´s last blog ..Following Up My ComLuv Profile

    Comment by Monique - August 15, 2009 3:30 pm

  8. Whippersnipper, BTW, sounds too much like whipper-snapper and thus too old-lady-ish for me to want to use it.
    Gwen´s last blog ..Punisher: Review Zone My ComLuv Profile

    Comment by Gwen - August 15, 2009 6:17 pm

  9. 1. I don’t understand your title and it’s probably better that way.

    2. They didn’t like that whippersnipper anyway. I just have a feeling about that. You did them a valuable service.

    3. Where are your Banff pictures already? We’ve been on the exact same trip and have some of the exact same photos so I want to see your Banff ones! (Aren’t those flamingoes in the zoo awsome? They photograph in an almost surreal way. I love my flamingo pics… and did you do the Tower too? Did the boys stand on the glass floor and all? It was awesome being up there at night too… standing on the glass with all the night lights and everything…

    Comment by fracas - August 16, 2009 12:35 am

  10. LOL the wire is fighting back! And your Dad’s neighbour sounds an awful lot like mine – she’s obsessed with her lawn and hates the idea of someone HAVING A LIFE and not spending every waking moment on their hands and knees snipping grass blades with nail clippers. Bleh.
    Katie´s last blog ..Wedding (Cup)Cakes My ComLuv Profile

    Comment by Katie - August 16, 2009 4:33 am

  11. I’m still chuckling out loud about this-I’m surprised u didn’t end up with a concussion when your head got pulled into the side of the garage!! You could so be mine by blood! And yes it is the thought that counts-more fodder for my book!!!

    Comment by mm - August 17, 2009 8:10 am

Comments RSS

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.