Hi, I’m LeSombre – Canadia’s Blogger, a.k.a Mike, a.k.a. Michel a.k.a. The Canadian Polar Bear, a.k.a. “You know, that guy”. You might remember me from such great guest posts and fake guests posts as “Mikey Sunday” “Witchless Wednesday“, “The Roast of Wayne Hall“, “The best of LOLPolarz” or “Adam does Ottawa“. I run this little corner of the web called LeSombre.ca – please feel free to come and visit sometimes, eh?

LeSombre: Aren’t you supposed to be my muse? ::Sigh:: I’ll go peeeeeeeeeee, maybe something interesting will happen.

LeSombre: Plus, my crap post will have more comments than yours.

Here I was chatting away with my BlogeyWife about how I wasn’t able to write a guest post for Blue. Let’s listen in…

LeSombre: Wow, I’m so uninspired it’s not even funny.

SheilaCSR: I feel ya.

LeSombre: Aren’t you supposed to be my muse? ::Sigh:: I’ll go peeeeeeeeeee, maybe something interesting will happen.

SheilaCSR: LOL okay

See how fun we are in real life?

[Few minutes pass]

LeSombre: Boy will I shut my mouth in the future

SheilaCSR: uh oh! what did you do?

LeSombre: As I was walking to the bathroom, I felt that familiar pressure indicating that I might be in for more than a simple pee… So I made my way to the private bathroom instead.

Let me pause here for a moment. I know there’s this whole thing about pooping at the office, pooping in public places and such, but trust me if you’re one of those people, this affliction can be cured. I used to be one of you. I swear. I was completely against popping in public places. When I was 15 I used to be a camp monitor, we’d bike around the Memphremagog over the course of six days with a bunch of kids (from Sunday morning to Friday night), and I’d poop once on Friday night, and once on Saturday night. The rest of the week? Nothing. That being said, it’s amazing how sixteen days in Africa will cure even the most resolute asshole on the planet. Trust me, now if i have to go, I sfind the closest bathroom and I go.

LeSombre: Which was completely out of toilet paper.

Of course, I had taken the time to clean the floor – hey, if there’s even a remote chance that my pants will touch the floor I’m going to make damn sure the floor is clean. I said I could use public restrooms, not that I was crazy about it or anything. So for some reason, I made the rookie mistake of trusting the double roll dispenser to do it’s job of hiding a second roll just for me.

LeSombre: There was only 3 sheets of hand paper left. I guess when the cleaning crew is on vacation, you’re not supposed to crap at work. So I had to either scoot from the private bathroom to the public one with my pants around my ankles to finish the cleaning part of the job, or make do with 80 grit sandpaper, aka the handpaper.

SheilaCSR: HAhahahahahaha!!! what’d you choose?

LeSombre: Yeah… I managed to make it with my pants up after using two of the last three pieces of handpaper, and the last piece of handpaper neatly tucked in my ass crack as a preventive measure. Let’s just say I wouldn’t have walked a mile like that.

SheilaCSR: Hahahahahahahahahaha! So no more wishing for something interesting to happen?

LeSombre: I’m done wishing, yes. But: I got a post!

SheilaCSR: Yay!

LeSombre: Plus, my crap post will have more comments than yours.

SheilaCSR: Hahaha! Fucker.

So there you have it. I guess SheilaCSR really is my muse, even if she works in mysterious ways.

∗ Posted by LeSombre on 07.29.2009
∗ Blogger Buddies