Soooo. It’s no secret that we have been having one hell of a time convincing Sammi to go potty outside. She much prefers to do it at the very end of the hallway – the end furthest from us, or right by the garage door. She WILL go potty outside if we take her out, but becuase she gives us no sign that she needs to go, we rarely get her out in time.
And so we are constantly cleaning the floor. I had heard that we have to disinfect the area to remove smells, or the dog will smell the spot and go there again, assuming becuase they had gone there before, it was OK. We had bought disinfectant wipes to clean her messes and figured we were covered.
Interesting fact of the day : Did you know that disinfectant wipes disinfect with the aid of ammonia? And did you know that ammonia makes up more than seventy percent of urine? Including dog urine?
Yeah. So for the past seven months we have been wiping up a small puddle of pee with a wipe that leaves behind – to a dog, at least – the smell of pee. The results of course, are that when we wipe the area, we leave a larger than original puddle of smell, and have been encouraging Sam to pee on the floor instead of dissuading her!
Awwwwesome.
Not.
Tomorrow my job will be to wash the floors and then spray the enzyme killer spray stuff we bought tonight everywhere she has ever messed. Joy. I has it.
The other thing the Puppy Professional we saw told us, was HOW to get Sammi to ring a bell to tell us she needs to go out. Ive had, I’m guessing, about 25 different people tell me that a bell hanging from the door is a great way to get a dog to communicate it’s needs, but not one of those people told me how to teach Sam to USE the bell.
Now I know.
And finally, a little reward for those of you who read this far:
Loganisim #437:
Logan had asked to color so I gave him paper and the container of crayons. A little while later there was a loud thump and then some very angry crying. Waving his scribbled on paper at me, while still crying, Logan tried to explain what happened. I understood the part about him jumping from the table and the part where he got hurt, but for the life of me, could NOT figure out what part his scribbled drawing had to do with it.
After I got him calmed down, I asked him what his picture was.
A red bull.
As in “Red Bull Gives You Wings“
This afternoon I took our puppy to the groomers:
and they gave us back a rat!
I know, I said I was going to update yesterdays post with these pictures, but the server thingy had a headache and refused to get freaky with my blog so I could make little post babies, so BAM – the pictures became tonight’s post!
Let this be a lesson to you; if you keep pestering her, eventually she will put out. The proof is in the pictures!
I absolutely cannot wait until tomorrow when Sammi goes to be groomed. Well. Wait. I guess I can wait, because what other option do I have? Drive down and knock on her bedroom window and ask her to brush my filthy doggie right now? So yes. I can wait and therefore and forced to rephrase my statement. I bet it would be easier to just delete this entire paragraph and start over with : YAY! Tomorrow Sammi is getting groomed! I am so excited!
But you know what? People who insist on being logical rather irritate me, and the last thing I need right now is to be mad at myself, so the above paragraph stays.
I made an appointment for Sam to be groomed on the 16th of April – but then I made an appointment for her to be spayed, and the groomer cannot bathe her for 14 days after the surgery, so the date was changed to April 23rd. Then the groomer canceled on the morning of the 23rd so she could take her nine year old son to the emergency room. We rescheduled for Tuesday the 28th at 10:30.
I feel slightly bad for the groomer. When Sam got out of the vets office after her spay, they had spilled something on her back legs and left it there to dry so she had mats and tangles. And then tonight we took Sam to football practice with us and she ran around in the trees and underbrush, so she has leaves and small twigs and even some spiky burrs stuck in her fur! We pulled out what we could, but you have never seen a messier looking dog in your LIFE!
I’m going to request that Sam be shaved, she is going to be hot this summer with her long coat, and with all the outside time she will be getting int he summer, keeping her long coat clean just won’t be feasible!
I will update with a before and after picture of SamSam when I get her back from the groomers tomorrow!
In other news, I attended this little guys baby Shower Sunday afternoon and won the Guess the Flavor of Baby Food contest
(I did not taste a single food, but it’s only been four years since I stopped using baby food, the smells are rather memorable – and not in a good way!) The prize I won was some delicious smelling bath products so I am off to go sample them!
(because this book rocks.*)
*One night I was trolling the interwebs and found a picture of Shark Cupcakes. I wanted very badly to make the Sharks so I searched and searched until I located the Hello Cupcake! blog. I bought their book the next night. This is NOT a sponsored post.
I followed a link today on twitter and found out that I opened my twitter account just over a year ago, The third of April, to be exact. In the past year and 22 days I have Made 5,652 updates to my Twitter account – If you are one of these people who get turned on by numbers, that’s 14.6 tweets a day.
You might think, based on the amount I tweet, that I fool around on Twitter because I like to talk. If you think that you are WRONG. How does that feel? Huh? Do you LIKE being wrong? Does it make you HAPPY to be WRONG? Huh? Does it?
Anyway. No, I don’t hang around the Twitterverse so that I can tell people when I am wet and naked, or that it is snowing, I hang around Twitter for shit like this :
**for those of you who don’t twitter – what the fuck is your problem? Join us! And also, the @InsertNameHere Is how Twitter tells us who the message is intended for. Also. Join Twitter, you loser!**
HisMuse : i’m home, on the sofa, feels sooooooooo good.
LateFines : @hismuse No, I’m home on the sofa. You’re definitely NOT here. I checked. Twice.
HisMuse: @LateFines did you look behind the sofa?
LateFines : @hismuse Of course I did. All I found was a peanut, a dorito that resembles the Mona Lisa, that mitten I lost and, of course, Jesus.
HisMuse: @LateFines well see once Jesus showed up I decided to leave, he’s been such a bummer lately
LateFines: @hismuse Lately? Dude’s a constant bummer.
HisMuse: @LateFines if only he’d stop talking about how he died for me, i never asked him to.
LateFines: @hismuse He does bring that up a little too often. “Jesus, you still owe me $20.”… “I died for your sins!”
HisMuse: @LateFines it’s really getting old, one of us should probably talk to him.
LateFines: @hismuse Maybe we should call that show, you know, intervention?
In conclusion; these two made me El Oh El.
