Today the children and I went to the park for a picnic because the day was nice and kids like picnics. I’m a good mom, Right? (In reality, we went becuase if I was not home, there was no way for me to shovel the huge pile of rocks that was dumped in (again) my driveway this morning. And shoveling rocks, even very tiny ones, is damn hard work. I don’t like any work, but particularly loathe hard work.)

At the park, I learned something very important. Something that may just save my ass down the road. You see, although there were about thirty other children at the park, with their respective guardians in tow, there was not a single cry of outrage, no hurried nine one one calls to the cops, no response at all as I buried all three of my children alive.

I am quite confidant now, that if the very likely case the boys annoy me so much I kill them, that I can dispose of their battered and bleeding bodies at the playground, in the middle of the day if need be, and no one will care.

I call this one “Just lay there for a minute, mommy needs to measure the hole”

Now that spring is officially turning into summer and the children were about to spend their first full day outdoors, I reminded them again of the importance of sunscreen, then made them all stand, turn, look up, turn, close your eyes, turn again as I covered every millimeter of uncovered skin with SPF 45.

Rainbow Man, 8 and annoying, complained that if sun screen is that important, shouldn’t I be putting it on as well? I tan really well, and very rarely burn, so I seldom take the time to apply sunscreen. But today, because I was starving and wanted to get to the park and start lunch, I hastily rubbed some sunscreen on myself just to shut him up. Unfortunately, I was unwilling unable to get a clear picture of what happens when you put sunscreen only on the center inch of your forehead and nowhere else on your face, but I did manage to get a good photo of my arm.

Note to self : Next time instead of rubbing the sunscreen in like lotion, take the time to wash your hands.

∗ Posted by bluepaintred on 05.16.2008
∗ Uncategorized