This makes me LOL

But THIS, makes me ROFLMAO

∗ Posted by bluepaintred on 04.25.2008
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waves HI!

I sort of kinda forgot all about posting last night. Did anyone notice? I know I did not notice until about three in the afternoon when I clicked over to see how many comments I had gotten! [insert ROFL here pls]

Went to coffee tonight and our waitress was B I T C H Y. So we accidentally spilled sugar on the table. And Spread forty dollars of scratch and win shavings all over the place. ‘Cus really? How hard is it to just put ice in the water when it is specifically requested? And. Why argue about it? I mean, it’s a fucking restaurant, you cannot be low on freaking ICE! I think it is a law.

After we left, we headed to Wal*Mart. While there it occurred to me that BFF Kissy and I treat a trip to Wal*mart more like a trip to Disney land than a trip to a store. We discussed the matter and are OK with it. We are also OK with getting movies for the PSP 2 for 10$ and snatching a FurReal Pets toy (The parrot) off the clearance shelf for ten bucks (Regular price, 89.99). The only thing that really ticked me off about our trip tonight was finding the most adorable little high top canvas sneakers and then finding out they don’t have Stuperman’s size.

*sadness*

Had I remembered to post last night I would have posted two things. How fucking unbelievably NOISY Blue Boy’s Birthday party was - there were ONLY four kids!! The second thing I would have posted was a VERY belated public thank you for the Five Bloggers who had my back during my week long vaykay.

So. Avitable - For the most part, I was shaking my head NO and gagging during your guest post, but when you got to this point:

3. Your self esteem will be astronomical! If you’re jumping the bones of the burly, you will find yourself with higher and higher self-esteem just from spending time with him!

I jumped from my chair screaming Sing it sister! Testify! It is horrible, nasty and in my opinion, down right fucking MEAN that Hubs is skinnier than I am. I think if a wife gains five pounds, the husband should be required by law to gain ten.

Mr.Fabulous - While I found your post amazingly funny, you did spell toque wrong. Also, Baby seals are dangerous because of their cute cuddliness. In Canada, cuteness IS a crime!

Robin - I am not sure if the fact that I LOVE the movie The Breakfast Club is public knowledge, but the fact that you picked that movie made you skip seven spots to land at the top of my “If I swung that way” list

The Absurdist - While I had a hard time finding the ingredients for the Mellow Man, I was able to find and successfully mix up a few Toddleritas. At first I was pleased that they seemed to take effect so fast, then I got worried that he had been sleeping it off for two days. In the end I was happy becuase his resulting hangover kept him quiet. I declare it a success!

Winter - Of course winter knows that the way to a womans heart is through her vagina (except her daughter, apparently) so She chose to write about penis! Penis! penis! - nono, I read and understoon that your daughter is an upstanding young woman who knows what she wants and what is really important in life, but isn’t that response boring? Wouldn’t you rather I run around the room yelling PENISPENISPENIS vagina?

Yea. thats what I thought.

Pee ess: Do you feel bad for the cake? I kinda do.

∗ Posted by bluepaintred on 04.24.2008
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He Shall Have His Cake, And Eat It Too!

April 23, 2002

(Don’t worry, we washed the rocks first)

∗ Posted by bluepaintred on 04.22.2008
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Winter Survival Tip Number 342

White Coffee.

On cold winter days, when the snow and wind is howling at the windows, like it was today becuase mother fucking nature misplaced her goddamn calender, My boys love to have White coffee.

It’s really self explanatory, but I took pictures, so why let them go to waste?

I, Uhm, forgot to take picture of step one, which is put an inch or two of black coffee in a mug.

Step two. Add flavored creamer and a heaping teaspoon of sugar. Stir.

Step three. Fill the mug with Milk. Stir

Step Four is the most important. Drink.Enjoy. Become addicted to caffeine at an early age.

∗ Posted by bluepaintred on 04.21.2008
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Titles; An Unnecessary Distraction

Today we finally met up with our accountant to get our taxes done. Even thought I knew there was no chance in hell we would end up owing the government a dime, it’s still really reassuring to get them done and over with, and as a special treat, our refund was more than double this year than last.

After the meet and great with the accountant - and let me pause right here to ask you, If you worked all day long with the public, wouldn’t you take the time to apply deodorant? - We headed to a little place I like to call “The Fun Factory” where Hubs and I were lucky enough to spend the afternoon listening to sixty aught million kids running, screaming, crying and *yes really* swearing.

As fun as the Fun Factory is, It makes me SO glad I am not a dude. See. You cannot wear shoes at the fun factory. Adults included. As a mom to three boys, I can say with 100 percent accuracy that little boys - especially little boys who are distracted and excited - have next to no aim when it comes to making porcelain lemonade. Poor Hubs. . .