Last night Hubs opened the front door to let the dog out for one last pit stop before bed. He immediately closed it again and told the dog she would have to hold it. When I asked what was wrong, Hubs told me I did NOT want to know.

This is what I woke up to in the Morning.

It was time for us to take some rather drastic measures. I won’t go into much detail, because the case is still under investigation and our lawyers told us not to say anything to anyone…but you guys won’t tell, right? We managed to locate Mother Nature. It wasn’t that hard, she was suntanning on a beach in Miami. In the end, She did the right thing….

To Whom It May Concern;

This is my letter of resignation from duties. For the past 4.55 Billion years I have watched over the earth’s seasons, and based on my past performance, some people, who shall remain nameless, have convinced me it is time to let someone more suited take the job.

According to some people, I should have been fired after the Huronian Ice age, 2.7 billion years ago. In my defense, I must remind you all that I had just started Menopause, and it was just too damn hot. I *might* have gone a bit overboard, but, you know, blame it on hormones.

I *am* very sorry about that silly hurricane Katrina, by the way. I could not find a tissue in time to stop the sneeze! And I had meant for the tornadoes that hit Texas a few days back to be little dust storms, but then the tea kettle went off and then the cat wanted to be fed, then I just plain and simple forgot they were out there! Everyone makes mistakes, Right?

In any case, during a recent medical exam, it has come to light that I might be in the early stages of Alzheimer’s, and this may very well be the direct cause of so many weather type disasters. I have been assured that my replacement will be well versed in weather and seasonal changes, he or she will be able to keep the snow where it belongs - in winter, and the hurricanes and tornadoes from getting out of hand.

Please send your resume to snow.is.4.winter@gmail.com, please include any reasons you feel you may be qualified to take over my duties.And has anyone seen my slippers?

Sincerely, Mother Nature

∗ Posted by bluepaintred on 04.26.2008
∗ Uncategorized