When my daughter was three, I went back to college. Los Angeles Valley College had a day care center that was used for Early Childhood Education classes. As a “welfare” mom, I didn’t have to pay for child care while I was in class. I was a little worried about how my daughter would take to day care because, as an only child with no cousins her age, she wasn’t used to being around a bunch of kids.

She was a little apprehensive at first, but I sat her down at a table with some other kids who were apprehensive. They started to play with the block puzzles. Some other kids came in and started crying because their moms were leaving. I hung out a little because I wanted to make sure Annicka felt comfortable. Finally, I reminded her about what we’d talked about for the past week… that mom was going to class and she would stay there at school until I came back to get her. She remembered what we’d talked about and said she was okay. I gave her a kiss and went to the door. I looked back, wondering if she was going to cry. She was busy with the block puzzles again. Not one freaking tear. I was proud and crestfallen at the same time.

The first year was pretty uneventful. Annicka had been a good baby and proved a good toddler too. Toward the end of the first year something happened that made me realize that my child was special. She had an equanimity about her, a sang froid, that other children didn’t have. My older brother told me it was because she was intelligent. My niece, who is my age and has boys, said it was because she’s an only child and hung out with adults all the time. Here is what happened to make me see my kid in an entirely different light.

The coats and backpacks at the day care were all hung on hooks in a hallway. The bathrooms were in that hallway too. It was a big bathroom with about six toilets. The odd thing about it was that it had no doors and the walls were only about thigh high. The teachers explained that the kids still had potty issues and trouble with clothes. The short wall was so they could keep an eye on the kids in case there were difficulties. I really didn’t think anything of it.

One day, as I was putting on Annicka’s jacket, another mom and her little boy came into the hallway. The boy was doing an obvious pee pee dance. His mom told him to hurry up and go. He refuse to go in the bathroom. His mom told him she had an appointment, he needed to hurry, so GO NOW. He refused. Exasperated, she said, “Give me one good reason you cannot go in there and use the toilet!”

The little boy pointed to Annicka. “She’s here! She will see me!”

The mom and I looked at each other in astonishment. We both knew that he meant my daughter would see him take out his penis. Annicka knew what he meant too. She calmly finished putting on her backpack and turned to the little boy. She fixed him with a flat stare and said in a deadpan voice, “Go pee. I don’t care. It’s only a penis.”

The mom’s lips twitched. Mine did too. We contained our laughter though. I herded Annicka out of the hallway so the boy could pee. To this day, Annicka doesn’t seem to have much reverence for the penis. When her boyfriend got smacked in the nuts, she rolled her eyes and said, “Suck it up. You’ve been whacked in the nuts before. It’s not the end of the world.”

At eighteen, her self possession is still in place. She does very well with adults and is especially poised on a military base. Her adopted father, my best friend, took her to a lot of bases because he works with the military. When introduced to generals, Annicka calls them “Sir” and that sang froid of hers carries her through. She is completely in control rather than giggly with awe. They always ask her dad if she’s going into the military. Her manners always impress them. But I know it’s not really manners that give her that cool self possession. It’s because she really isn’t impressed with the fact that the general has a penis.

**This post was written by the wonderful Winter of Life or Something Like (B)it! ! Enjoy your night, I’ll be back tomorrow night to announce the winner of the caption Contest! **

∗ Posted by bluepaintred on 04.17.2008
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