I’m sorry I can’t come to the interwebs right now, I am eating my third piece of brownies busy, they are fresh from the oven, very busy, still gooey inside, very very busy.
An operator is standing by to take your order comment.
Pee ess: It is very important to remember to be extremely careful, when applying lotion with the words “with cooling menthol” after a bath; There are some parts of your body that do not approve of menthol.
remember a few months ago I bitched to high heaven that the school wanted Rainbow man to be tested for ADD/ADHD and I said fuck that. no way I am putting my kid on drugs? Whatever. I’m allowed to change my mind. He went through a bunch of tests, and a three hour wait for a twenty minute doctor appointment and is now the prowd owner his very own bottle of amphetamines.
Yay. I’m giving my eight year old son speed. Go me.
Sigh.
*I’m doing enough of it myself
I am dreading the fact that I have to be up at 3:30 to take my inlaws to the airport.
I am one of those people who need nine (or more!) hours of sleep at night or I am liable to hog tie the children just to get an afternoon nap. Oh well. Guess they should have read the fine print before agreeing to exit the womb.
Every time I run down to the store of head to the school to get the boys I pass this sign and every.single.time I pass this sign I wonder..What if..
What if I were to add a little post script to the sign? Something like this..
What if I just printed this handy, already made and saved on my desktop, sign and taped it up in the dark of the night. What kind of legal problems do I need to consider?
If some kid did get hit while the sign was up, would I face manslaughter charges? Child endangerment? And, the actual act of taping the home made addendum up, is that vandalism? Technically, nothing would be damaged…
If you have any insight, let me know, The urge to do this is over whelming, and coincidentally, I will be up at O’dark-thirty on Tuesday to drive my In Laws to the airport…
Last night Hubs opened the front door to let the dog out for one last pit stop before bed. He immediately closed it again and told the dog she would have to hold it. When I asked what was wrong, Hubs told me I did NOT want to know.
This is what I woke up to in the Morning.
It was time for us to take some rather drastic measures. I won’t go into much detail, because the case is still under investigation and our lawyers told us not to say anything to anyone…but you guys won’t tell, right? We managed to locate Mother Nature. It wasn’t that hard, she was suntanning on a beach in Miami. In the end, She did the right thing….
To Whom It May Concern;
This is my letter of resignation from duties. For the past 4.55 Billion years I have watched over the earth’s seasons, and based on my past performance, some people, who shall remain nameless, have convinced me it is time to let someone more suited take the job.
According to some people, I should have been fired after the Huronian Ice age, 2.7 billion years ago. In my defense, I must remind you all that I had just started Menopause, and it was just too damn hot. I *might* have gone a bit overboard, but, you know, blame it on hormones.
I *am* very sorry about that silly hurricane Katrina, by the way. I could not find a tissue in time to stop the sneeze! And I had meant for the tornadoes that hit Texas a few days back to be little dust storms, but then the tea kettle went off and then the cat wanted to be fed, then I just plain and simple forgot they were out there! Everyone makes mistakes, Right?
In any case, during a recent medical exam, it has come to light that I might be in the early stages of Alzheimer’s, and this may very well be the direct cause of so many weather type disasters. I have been assured that my replacement will be well versed in weather and seasonal changes, he or she will be able to keep the snow where it belongs - in winter, and the hurricanes and tornadoes from getting out of hand.
Please send your resume to snow.is.4.winter@gmail.com, please include any reasons you feel you may be qualified to take over my duties.And has anyone seen my slippers?
Sincerely, Mother Nature
