Uh. Little Help?

A few days ago, Avitable had nothing to blog about so he uploaded a picture of his feet. I saw the post in bloglines, clicked through to see the photos, but did not stop to leave a comment. I did however, e-mail him this picture of my foot :

The next day I was supremely board and decided to read the comments on his foot post. An overwhelming number of people told Avitable to go and get a pedicure ASAP.

Now, I am not proud to admit this, becuase as soon as I put this into type I will have to admit I also have no idea how to put on make-up (other than gloss), nor have I ever been to an actual salon to have my hair cut. (I go for the eight dollar MagiCuts in the mall) And I guess that while admitting the rest, I might as well tell you all I do not understand what the hell people mean when they say a color suits you, or anything else, for that matter, about fashion. I buy clothes based on how comfortable I will be in them.

In truth, I am absolutely not a girly girl, and even if I wanted to be, I would not know the first place to start. In real life I would never, in my wildest dreams, dare to ask an actual girl to explain these types of things. I think they must all be born with this knowledge or maybe I was skipping school the day that was taught in Home Ec. Actually, I took shop instead of Home Ec, so I bet you thats where I went wrong.

Anyway. What exactly is a pedicure? To help you help me, I will tell you what I think it is : You go to a nail type place - I’ve had gel nails - they sucked ass - I assume they do feet nails at the same type of place. Then I think they shape and buff and polish your nails and send you on your merry way. I am also willing to bet that getting a pedicure costs a lot of $$.

What is the etiquette on pedicures anyway? Obviously you need to have clean feet, becuase otherwise you would be a disgusting pig, but dose a girl need to make sure her toes are free of polish? Do I bring my own polish? I bet their selection really sucks. Do you have to tip them? Are you allowed to bring an iPod and ignore them or are you forced to make small talk? And what’s to point? I don’t find it particularly challenging to bend over and paint my own toes.

I’m sure that, unlike real life girls, you the interwebs will be kind and gentle with me in the comments. It’s quite embarrassing to put myself out on this mythical limb and ask for help on a topic that I should already know everything about.

And if you do decide to be mean to me in comments? I will send your mom a picture of Avitable’s toes.

And your Granny, too.

∗ Posted by bluepaintred on 03.26.2008
∗ Uncategorized

Comments: 37 »

They also massage and lotion you up. They should have an excellent selection of colors, more than I could ever begin to dream to have. They’ll take the polish off for you if you have any on. Yes, you should tip them the same as any one else in the service industry. Generally small talk is necessary, but you could probably get by with a magazine. It’s necessary because is super relaxing. Also, what they do looks a million times better than what I can do (cuticles and whatnot) and it seems to last longer.

Amanda’s last blog post..It’s In The Photograph of Love

Comment by Amanda - March 26, 2008 11:57 pm
other than your toenails being a bit long for me (but I cut mine super short)… you have really nice feet… no icky cuticles or callous’ or anything… but ya.. they soak your feet, and trim/file your nails… push back the cuticles… buff the rough spots… and paint your nails..

You seem to do just fine without the “girly” stuff… which means your naturally beautiful… and I’m envious of you…

Comment by Tori - March 27, 2008 12:23 am
I’m somewhere between a girly girl and a tomboy, it depends on what it is. I go back and forth. I don’t go to a nail salon much because it really just doesn’t last long…feels like a waste of money. I can’t decide if I want long nails or short ones for the wedding…because I go back and forth on that. I’ll shut up now.

Robin’s last blog post..Robin Red Breast

Comment by Robin - March 27, 2008 6:29 am
Um, girl, you do need a pedi. Since you are not a girly-girl, get either a clear coat or a french pedicure. That way, you won’t have to feel uncomfortable with color.

Make sure to let them know if you want your callouses removed. I don’t get the callouses on my fourth and fifth toes removed because of the heels that I wear. But if you were lesbian shoes, have the callouses removed. Make sure to get your heels clean up from nasty ole dead skin (mine gets REALLY bad).

Never let your pedicure push out more than half way. If you get a french pedicure, (it’s like a french manicure; white on the ends, clear on the nail part), you can go further between pedis.

Go to one of those Asian salons, but look around and make sure that they use an autoclave and clean well. You shouldn’t pay more than $25 at the asian salons. If you opt to go to a high-end salon, you will pay$50 or more and it’s just not worth it.

The asian salons are just as nice, have massage chairs, and take a book so you don’t have to sit there and try to figure out what the fucking asian is telling you. They will try to upsell you with a manicure and stuff, and just politely decline, unless you want one.

Best bang for the buck. DON’T go out in open-toed shoes with those feet. I need a pedi also, and I refuse to wear open-toed shoes right now.

Absurdist’s last blog post..Mini-blog: Apology

Comment by Absurdist - March 27, 2008 6:41 am
Oh; and don’t shave your legs within 24 hours of going to a salon; any salon; you will be more susceptible to water-borne stuff in the water. High end salons included.

And it’s okay to be “gay”. I wear lesbian shoes too. But I AM a girly girl. When I want to be.

Absurdist’s last blog post..Mini-blog: Apology

Comment by Absurdist - March 27, 2008 6:43 am
Boy, this was a girlie post.
Mr. Fabulous’s last blog post..I violate Norman Rockwell for the very last time?

Comment by Mr. Fabulous - March 27, 2008 6:56 am
I’m a girly girl and your feet look better than mine! I’m in desperate need of a pedicure but haven’t found the time to go!

Diane Mandy’s last blog post..I’m not rubbing it in, really

Comment by Diane Mandy - March 27, 2008 8:10 am
I’m going to go get one soon and I’ll tell you all about it.

Avitable’s last blog post..No Avitable. Period.

Comment by Avitable - March 27, 2008 8:12 am
I think you’ve gotten all the info you need… why am I here again?

Comment by Finn - March 27, 2008 8:46 am
I’m not comfortable with make-up either, but I did have a pedicure once. My feet are way uglier than yours and the lady who gave it to me seemed to be offended. Besides that, I don’t like to be touched by strangers so I probably won’t ever do it again.

marilyn’s last blog post..Spring!

Comment by marilyn - March 27, 2008 8:48 am
I am SO not a girlie girl, but LOVE pedicures…but then I like the massage part & a lot of people don’t.

Tug’s last blog post..Wouldn’t it be FUN?

Comment by Tug - March 27, 2008 9:46 am
@Amanda -
I have LOTS of nail polish. I love nail polish!
how much is a tip then? Does it depend on what they charge?

@Tori - I normally have mine short too, but i grew them this winter for something to do. It ruins my sicks though. They need to be cut.

@Robin - Oh! Do long nails, that way you can scratch his back properly on the honeymoon!

@Absurdist - Um, girl, you do need a pedi. Whats your moms email?

I love color on my nails, but then, i like the whole white tip ones too.
would i know if I have calluses? Where do I look?
I never wear heels
WHAT THE FUCK ARE LESBIAN SHOES??
I have a bit of dead skin on my heels. they would take care of that fgor me? Awesome!

Never let your pedicure push out more than half way. What does that mean?

I would rather pay full price and go to the one in town. If I went to an aisian one I would have to drive into the city

DON’T go out in open-toed shoes with those feet. - I am going to need your granny’s address as well!

@Absurdist - no shaving - check

WHAT THE HELL ARE FUCKING LESBIAN SHOES?

@Mr. Fabulous - and yet, you still commented. Thanks!

@Diane Mandy - So. Think I should book one? Are they better with a friend?

@Avitable - take pictures please! and do it soon soon, If I am doing this I want it done before the snow melts!

@Finn - did you come for the panty raid? thats a few doors down, sry1

@marilyn - crap. I do not like people touching me either. But. they are just feet, right? That should be OK? Right?

@Tug - the massage part sounds nice too. is that always a part of a pedicure or do you have to order them separately?

Comment by bluepaintred - March 27, 2008 11:08 am
You are funny. Good luck talking to my mom. She is a psycho hose beast.

Trust me, my feet look worse than yours right now. Go to the nice salon, then. Don’t pay more than $50 + tip.

Lesbian shoes = comfortable shoes. I have them. I just got tired of my sexuality being questioned.

Never let your pedi “grow” out halfway. I should have said that instead. sorry. And don’t even let it grow out more than 1/4 of the way.

Absurdist’s last blog post..Freewrite Friday March 21st, 2008

Comment by Absurdist - March 27, 2008 11:17 am
Girl, your commentluv is out of kilter. And I promise I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I am a girly girl. We can hold a seance to get in touch with my grandmother!

Absurdist’s last blog post..Freewrite Friday March 21st, 2008

Comment by Absurdist - March 27, 2008 11:20 am
Should be part of it - when they’re lotioning you up & making them soft.

I need to make an appointment now.
Tug’s last blog post..Wouldn’t it be FUN?

Comment by Tug - March 27, 2008 11:23 am
Go get a pedicure….What are you still doing here? GO I am not a girly girl either, but nothing feels better than a pedi…and ps if none mentioned, make it a day when u can strut to le car in flip flops, or else you could make your pretty toes smudgy.

maria’s last blog post..ps

Comment by maria - March 27, 2008 2:12 pm
OMG! I could write this post myself. Can we be BBF?

Except I don’t want anyone going anywhere near my feet.
Lynda’s last blog post..They Paved Paradise, and Put In A Parking Lot?.

Comment by Lynda - March 27, 2008 3:58 pm
Imagine my surprise when I headed over to “Stuff on my Cat”, saw your post and then clicked over here to find that you are Bluepaintred, one of Fab’s favorite people.

This blogosphere is getting smaller and smaller each day.

Now to finish reading about feet…………

teri’s last blog post..Fun and Sun

Comment by teri - March 27, 2008 4:53 pm
I didn’t start getting pedi’s until about 3 years ago (I’m 46). They ROCK!!! Do it! Worth the $25-$30 and the tip (I give $5; I have no idea if that’s good or bad). As for making them last longer, I found this topcoat at Sally Beauty Supply called Rock or something like that, and I put that on the day after the pedi. Helps it last longer for me.
I think it’s more fun with friends, but taking a book and a Starbuck’s is great when you’re on your own.
Your feet don’t have to be super clean–here in CA everyone wears flips all the time so we get dusty feet just going about our business.
I’m a stuff on my cat person, too. LOVE this blog, I just bookmarked it!

Comment by phinz - March 27, 2008 5:20 pm
I love love love mani-pedis where you get both done, but i hate nail polish so I have my nails buffed. They will buff up your nails so they are naturally shiny and the shine lasts for weeks on me.
The bonus is nothing looks weird as they are growing out and nothing chips or smears. (I am the type of person that always gets some food on my shirt at dinner or trips on the invisible crack in the sidewalk.)
I usually bring a book and or my ipod and let the whoever is working on my nails talk to their co-workers. I sometimes upgrade at the nail place i go to as they give a neck and back massage with the upgraded manicure that is wonderful.

Comment by Roisin - March 27, 2008 6:06 pm
oh tip find out what is included in an upgrade and how much before you crack and say yes. Some places charge extra for french nails and some charge extra to draw flowers and stuf on your big toe. I only upgrade for the neck massage.

Comment by Roisin - March 27, 2008 6:08 pm
Okay, so I have never had a pedicure. Even for my bro’s wedding, I totally had ingrown toenails on BOTH pappa toes, and I could not do it. So my dad (sweetest daddy ever!!) got me a certificate for a pedicure because I was sad and could not do it. (Even my brother got one! Foot washing was part of the ceremony.) This was Christmas…..2006. Yeah. So I keep not going because I figure I can do my own toes thankyouverymuch, and it means I have to shave, right? Cuz monstrously hairy boylegs (hey, it’s winter!) are offensive, right? So I am not a very girly girl, but I would like to do that pedicure! Assuming that A- the place is still in business, and B-that that thing doesn’t expire.

Comment by Marie - March 27, 2008 8:17 pm
Girl, go to the podiatrist and get those ingrown toenails taken care of. Those are dangerous. If they keep growing back, they can slice out the part of the nail that is causing the problem and burn it so it doesn’t grow back. I know it sounds painful, but they give you drugs and stuff. At least you won’t get bad infections.

Then would ALL OF YOU PLEASE go get yourself a pedicure???? Geez!

Absurdist’s last blog post..Mini-blog: Apology

Comment by Absurdist - March 27, 2008 8:22 pm
Tip is standard 15%, just like hairdresser. 18% for a really good pedi, but at asian salons, 15% is fine.

And treat yourself to a brow and lip wax. I swear you will never want to do your own again.

Okay, I think it’s time we have a BTR on this.

Absurdist’s last blog post..Mini-blog: Apology

Comment by Absurdist - March 27, 2008 8:25 pm
Just go…it is only $20 here plus tip to have it done so it can’t be that much there either. Go to a “clean” one not one that looks icky. They soak your feet in warm bubbly water (mine has a massage chair so that is nice) and then they use the pumice stones if you have any rough spots on your feet. Then they’ll scrub ‘em really good and then do your cuticles. They’ll cut the nails, file them, and then they massage your feet with oil or lotion….mine do it all the way up to my knee. After that, they’ll rub off your lotion on your nails and then paint them. You’ll choose your polish ahead of time and they have tons of colors including some colors that should never be used on a person. And then you’ll sit there while they dry and they’ll put little foam flip flops on you if you didn’t wear your own flip flops and you’ll pay and go home. Fun, no?!

And I agree, get your brows done. I don’t have lip hair so I’ve never done that. But my brows always look nice when done at the salon and it is much less painful than tweezing because tweezing makes me want to cry because it is so drawn out and I’m a big baby. I prefer to have it all done at once and the pain to be instant.

Comment by Kentucky Girl - March 27, 2008 9:17 pm
I am gone to throw up….. i will come back later and comment.

Comment by L.C. - March 27, 2008 11:42 pm
Whatever you do…..tip them…or the next time they will fuck up your toes!

Comment by catch - March 28, 2008 12:48 am
Did you ever think you would get 28 comments regarding a question on pedicures?

Absurdist’s last blog post..Mini-blog: Apology

Comment by Absurdist - March 28, 2008 6:23 am
Hubs did the electrical work on a salon and one of the perks was a free manicure and pedicure for me and my girlfriend. I had never done it before and I must say, it was pretty cool. I personally like doing my own polish and stuff, but it was a nice treat.

Ipod is a great idea. I couldn’t tell if those asian girls were talking about me behind (in front of ) my back! It gave me the creeps just thinking that they were discussing my toejam.

Metalmom’s last blog post..A Most Excellent Friday!

Comment by Metalmom - March 28, 2008 8:13 am
Go girl. Take yourself directly to the closest pedicure! It is almost climatic…warm, soapy water to soak in. Massage chair, foot massage, lotion. Toe nails trimmed, more massage.

scuse me…I need to have a cigarette….

Trishk’s last blog post..Oh Dear

Comment by Trishk - March 28, 2008 9:46 am
@Absurdist - what exactly IS a psycho hose beast?
I’m taking notes RE: pedicure, don’t worry!
I have comfortable shoes, but they are still awesomely cool shoes. Are they still lesbian shoes?

@Absurdist - Sometimes all the comment love thingys skip out. it did that to me at fabs too!

@Tug - I think I need too as well. But. what do I do about the fact that I broke the nail on the big toe of my left foot so it is very very short? Will they care?

@maria - But. I’m in my pajamas! I cant go out in my jamies, no matter how comfortable they are!

@Lynda - Yes. yes we can.

@teri - EKKK! Thanks for the heads up that the SOMC post went live. I had been checking all day!

@phinz - Thanks for the bookmarking as well as another push toward the pedicure! tell me more about your cats!

@Roisin - neck massage? Excuse me while I drool!

@Roisin - I will ask about prices over the phone when I make the appointment! Thanks!

@Marie - NO! it’s free! You have to go!

@Absurdist - Yes ma’ma. Pee ess: I get ingrown toenails too, I just slice them out myself. I’m pretty handy with a knife and a bottle of peroxide ya know!

@Absurdist - 15 % of 50 is what? Seven dollars? I’m not good at percents!

Ive always wanted to get my brows done. But then you have to walk out with fire red brows!

I agree. BTR must be called in to save the day. make sure I know when it will be on so I can listen and perhaps call in please!

@Kentucky Girl - I wouldl ike to get my heels scrubbed before i wear flipflops. they arent cracked or anything, but they are a bit rough. I don’t like that.

@L.C. -Sounds good cus.

@catch - Catch! Is that you? You did not leave a link so i cannot be sure, if so, how are you? OMG you have not blogged in a month! How the fuck are you??!!

@Absurdist - Actually I expected at least 31. I wonder though, how many I will get when I ask about Brazilian waxes…

@Metalmom -
@Trishk - So it’s like sex, eh?

Comment by bluepaintred - March 28, 2008 10:20 am
They don’t care - just one less nail they need to cut!

Tug’s last blog post..What I want…

Comment by Tug - March 28, 2008 11:29 am
I concur!

Granny feet make me hot.

Tenacious B’s last blog post..Silly Rabbit, Gifts Are For Kids

Comment by Tenacious B - March 28, 2008 1:41 pm
Wow. I thought everything in SoCal was more expensive than the rest of the world, but apparently pedicures are cheap here. I pay $13 for a spa pedicure (the big massage chair) plus $5 to the calluses removed from my heels every other pedi. I give the chick a $3 tip and I’m out the door. Take a book unless they play pay per view movies in Hi Def like they do at my place. I have a pic of my toes somewhere with purple polish. I always take my own polish because I don’t water it down like salons do. I buy the OPI stuff - the Russion Collection kicks ass. It’s a really relaxing thing. And it’s not a girly thing. Half the chairs have men in them when I get there.
Winter’s last blog post..Yes! I Am A Lagger!

Comment by Winter - March 28, 2008 9:02 pm
Yeah, the men thing kills me too. SeriouslY? thirteen bucks???

Absurdist’s last blog post..BluePaintRed?s Gonna Kill Me But?

Comment by Absurdist - March 28, 2008 9:52 pm
OH yeah, get your brows waxed!!!!! LIke the pedi’s, I just started waxing recently too. LOVE the wax!!!! Beats all that infernal daily plucking! The bonus is, less grow back each time, so eventually I suspect I won’t have to worry about it at all.

There’s a girl (asian, of course; what’s UP with that anyways?!) who does the waxing at my hair salon and she is GREAT! She includes a facial massage afterwards. Immediately after she pulls out the hair, she puts a strip of cold astringent-soaked cotton on the area to minimize redness, then follows that up with the massage and some lotion. I rarely walk out with redness. LOVE IT!

Sadly, I have no kitties myself at this time. So I enjoy everyone else’s on SOMC. And talk to the kitteh who lives 3 doors down on our cul de sac (who CARES what the neighbors think?!).

Man, I pay $30 for a spa pedi plus the tip. I hear this place I live is considered upper middle class for SoCal, so I guess it figures, huh?!). I’m from Ohio and I have to say, it is SO refreshing reading this blog and the comments!

Comment by phinz - March 30, 2008 8:35 pm
Interesting how people see somethings the same

Comment by Send Flowers Australia - August 30, 2008 9:32 am

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