Look. It’s not like I have a penis of my own to play with! I mean, I asked him for one small favor but would he agree? NO! Seriously, the minute that they come up with a website full of fun and amusing party tricks I can perform with my vagina, I’d be right.there. So fast your hand would slip. Yes, that fast. True story.
All I did was ask to borrow his penis for a few measly minutes so I could try out some party tricks, and he looked at me like I was crazy!
ME! Crazy!!?! Do I look Crazy to you?
So I figured fine, maybe it’s becuase HE wanted to be the one to perform. I told him to pick any trick from the list, just one! But that I wanted to take a picture for my blog and he told me to STFU!
What the hell is with him? Where is his Christmas Spirit? Huh? When does the whole giving part of the season enter into this?
Oh and also. If you are sitting there all WTF?!? Click Here.
This is not the post I meant to post tonight. That one is already written. I have spent the past few hours debating whether I should add this as a post script to the bottom of my real post, but as you can see, I felt I should post it on it’s own. It kind of takes Teh Funneh away from my real post, asking dorky questions like this.
ANYWAY. We are Still not done Project Polka Dot, but the subject of lighting has come up a few billion times. Right now we have one little bedside lamp - but two bed sides (lol) and I like the lamp, its cute and all, but what I really want is something I found here : Seagull lighting.
And in particular , this set.
My problem is - How much work are we talking about here? Do these things come with like, cords to plug them in? That would look dumb, but, it took SIX coats of paint to paint the wall the shade we wanted. To re wire the wall to get the light thingys up… that sounds like a hellalota work!
Is it?
Pee ess: If it helps, there is an out let at ground level, on both sides, exactly where I would position the set.. Well I’d put them higher than ground level, but you know…
It took all day, but I have the boys convinced we are half Jewish now.
It was hard, becuase they had no idea what being Jewish is. I had to go online and explain about Haunukkah and the eight-day Jewish holiday commemorating the rededication of the Second Temple in Jerusalem at the time of the Maccabean Revolt of the 2nd Century. Hanukkah is observed for eight nights, starting on the 25th day of Kislev according to the Hebrew calendar, and may occur from late November to late December on the Gregorian calendar.
Naturally, none of this, with the exception of OMG! EIGHT DAYS OF PRESENTS! We should be all the way Jewish, Mom! Made any sense to the boys.
You see, this year we are celebrating Christmas Three times, the 23rd(at my dads), 24th(at my in laws), and 25th(at home). Three days in a row the children get to wake up and open Gifts. Not quite The Festival Of Lights, But damn close to it, or at least I thought so!
I’m sure that If I could only find a dreidel, I would be able to bump us up to 3/4 Jew in no time! - After all, we’ve already got the circumcising done and out of the way!
Tired Of Tuesdays? Wednesday got you down? Dreading Thursday?
Are you trying to either speed up or slow down the coming holiday season with no success? With our new, soon to be patented miracle cure, we can make all your worries disapear. Simply overdose on this :
Cuteness. Overload. (*)
Fine print goes here
Cuteness Overload is not a registered trademark of Bluepaintred enterprises, nor is it soon to be patented. The fruit of my loins, looking cute enough to roast on a stick, however is a registered trademark of Egg&Sperm™ Productions. The moment he starts making enough money off his almost edible cuteness to buy me the audio racks I have been bugging Hubs about, mark my word, his ™ will be lazer’d off his chubby behind before you can blink and I will sell him to the highest bidder!
Fantastagirl tagged me. This is the first tag since moving to Wordpress.
1) Post a note about a blogger you would like to see something wonderful happen for. Maybe one whose posts have touched your heart in one way or another. Include details as to why you admire them and what you wish for them. Be as supporting and affirming as you can.
In a recent Post, Mr.Fab touched me with his dorky acceptance of his unfortunate affliction known as early balding, and yet.. I often feel he is crying out for us to help him overcome that same baldness. This is especially telling when he talks of his bloglover Avitable, who has a hair problem of quite another variety. I often wake, Sweating and naked in the middle of the night , convinced I have the solution only to have it slip through my fingers. All I can recall of the dream is Avitable, scissors and a purple dildo. I’m positive that If I can figure this puzzle out, I can save Fab’s Poor naked head.
What I guess I am trying to say, is that If I had it in my power to make something wonderful happen to Fab, I would get off my ass, brush the cat and mail him a toupee. Wait. That is within my powers.. oops. I’m forgetting The Lazy again..nevermind
2) Post your favorite memory around selflessness, giving, or doing for others. Something that has actually changed you.
I feel that the most selfless thing I have ever done is allow three children to exit VIA my vagina. It has most definitely changed me ~ and not for the good. For example; each one left me with ten extra pounds to carry. Mostly on my ass. And the stretch marks.are only fun so long as the markers are washable. And the fact that the Local Scout troop now uses my Vagina for meetings? The only good that comes from that is the cookie crumbs left over for Hubs to enjoy.
Kids and Vagina’s are not a good mix. Learn from my mistake people.
3) As a postscript, name one thing you will actually do for someone in your life before December 31 that is born out of joy.
This.
This I did for my father. He has to give them to the people he works with - in such a way that it does not result in a pending sexual harassment suit against him - It brought me joy and it better damn well bring him Joy when I give them to him tomorrow!
4) Tag 3 other bloggers who will play the game and find the spirit. Don’t forget to leave a comment on their blog so they continue to share the good feelings.
Uhm
You. and You. And YOU.
