*ring*
*Ring*
*RING!*
“Hello blog? Yea, It’s me. What the fuck do you mean me who?! It’s me, Blue! You been messing round on me with some other blogger or something?…OK, listen, just grab a pen and write this down:”
Dear people who come to this blog for some reason unknown to me, Bluepaintred has a cold and is pretty sure she is at deaths door. She won’t stop whining. She can’t come into blog tonight becuase she is a big baby. Laugh at her. A lot.
“Blog? You still there? Did you get all that? OK, then read it back to me. . . WTF! That’s not what I said! Tell them …”
*dial tone*
“Blog! Blog!?! Are you there? Mother fucker! I canNOT believe you hung up on me! Screw this shit, I’m goin’ to bed!”
Boys and girls - Jimmy! Do your pants back up and pay attention. - Now, Boys and girls, today we are going to talk about our body and being healthy.
Yes Sara?… No. We are not going to discuss penile/vaginal relations today… Well thats certainly interesting, but no matter what sally’s sister told you, a goldfish never belongs there!
Can we please get back on topic now class?
Jimmy! If you take it out one more time you will have to leave the room.
Our body works in amazing ways to keep us healthy. You see class, Inside your body there is an amazing protection mechanism called the immune system. It is designed to defend you against millions of bacteria, microbes, viruses, toxins and parasites that would love to invade your body.
Now class, my question you is this : Is it possible to get someone else’s cold just by reading their blog?
If so. PFfffftttt. You suck. I hope you all catch this!
Class dismissed.
- Just talked to my StepMommy and for Thanksgiving I will be bringing two pumpkin pies, two cherry pies and an apple cake. There will be so many people there that no one will notice if I sneak in a blogger friend or two. Who’s game?
- Also. My wonderful amazing StepMommy has seventeen boxes of books for me. SEVENTEEN. It’s all I can do to think about that number and not cum. Seventeen. mmm…
- Just before my StepMommy called I talked with my brother who put doubts about my puppy into my head. this scares me and it is up to you guys to calm me down. I’ve already fallen in love with my unborn puppy! Halp!
- How do American Kids play “Doctor”? I mean. What if they don’t have insurance?
- I am really tempted to ask for a refund (again) on my Where Was I template. I cannot contact my designer, although her intermediate has been super sweet, and I am tired of waiting. Very tired. And then I found out there are people who have been waiting even longer than I have (three months on the eighth) and that worries me even more.
- Today I did the most whorish post EVER on Paint!. I wrote about Tequila. WTF? I don’t drink beer much less tequila. I am officially now more of a whore than Fab. YAY!
And lastly
- Today I wrote a three part post over at paint. At eight this morning an intruder of the eight legged kind attacked my ceiling fan. If you are interested, here is part one, two and three.
- Don’t worry. There was a happy ending!
Uhm.. Here! Have a Picture!!1!
I
still haven’t quit
I was un-able to access my blogs last night. Kept saying my password was wrong. I figured whatever - a glitch. Or Maybe! Maybe the designer was finally installing the template I ordered in July.
Nope. And to be honest? It’s starting to piss me off. A lot. I wanted Where Was I looking it’s best when She made her debut and quite frankly, she looks craptastic right now, but I had to open her up! Hell, I had wanted to open her up three freaking weeks ago.
So back to the password issue. Blogger is a known bitch and I just shrugged it off and went to bed. This morning I was unable to access my buddy Trisha’s site, it’s passworded, and I got mad. What if there were more pictures of our internet angel, Ashlyn??
So I fired off a nasty note to blogger.
Heh. Karma people. Don’t diss the Power of Karma.
About three seconds after I pushed the send button I remembered one tiny detail.
I had to take capslock off to write the email.
Blogger passwords are case sensitive.
Sigh.
- My “b” key is sticking. This is unfortunate. I am used to the “y” key sticking. I miss “b”
- Sheila wrote about an intense time in her life. She broke it into four parts, 1, 2, 3, 4. I wanna take this opportunity to tell her I will be nominating part one (and if they let me, 2, 3, and 4,) for a Perfect Post award.
- Baby Ashlyn and her momma went to a party this weekend. Happy Birthday Little J! - Not linking this one. You have to be a member to read it anyway!
- My husband is running around killing flies with an electric fly zapper thing. Its annoyingly hilarious. I hope he zaps himself.
- I’m Having my very first contest over at my newest blog, Where Was I. Go enter it! Ignore how it looks right now. I’m hoping to eventually get the template I ordered in July installed. Someday. Maybe.
- I put new pictures up at the photo blog. Again, mostly the cat.
- Every time I think of the puppy I shiver and have an internal SQUEEE. Sometimes the internal becomes an external.
- I finished the last of the pillows for the bedroom, bought material for the binding, go the backing ready, as well as half of the border. Project Polka Dot is almost done!
- My ” ” key is a fucking asshole. See. BBBBBBBb bbb bb fucker. Work dammit!
- I really want to be in the bath right now.
That’s it. That’s all. It’s either deal with Bullet points or listen to me tell you shit like this : We went shopping. We bought food. Lots of grapes. they were on sale. same with cheese strings. And the yellow poly-cotton in the exact shade I needed was on sale too. I Love sales. A lot. The two youngest brats pestered me about their bikes. I reminded them about how scared I was every time they asked and then repeated not ’til spring. It made the baby cry. I forgot to give a damn. We bought season Six of Smallville. I love Smallville. We watched two episodes tonight. They rocked. I have to pee.
See. Told you bullets are better for your health than Me on a Saturday night. Y’all just considered suicide to get out of reading that last bit didn’t you. Don’t lie.
I’m gonna go get wet n nekked now.
see ya.
