….And in a completely unexpected turn of events, I had a not wonderful but also not a piss my pants in pain and fear experience at the dentist this afternoon.
But I had to walk to my appointment. The car is broken. BAD Car! Something to do with hey go buy brake pads, I will put them in for you. Oh look this drum is seized. BAD Drum! Why is a drum in the car and who seized it?
So the drum is two hundred bucks, or thirty five. Depends where we go. Or something. If it has nothing to do with chocolate or coffee, I tune it out, truth be told. And the brake pads set us back forty bucks. Oh, and I guess it wasn’t the rock that caused all the noise (?) Whatever. Someone buy me a new car. A red one.
Basically, the (BAD!!) car betrayed me and made me walk and for that I will never forgive it. It was very hot. I thought I would be driving. I was not dressed for hot weather. My ass crack was all sweaty by the time I got there. Sweaty ass crack sucks ass.
After my dental appointment, I was in shock. There was very little pain becuase when I sucked in my breath and squeezed my eyes shut to avoid the flying blood, she was right there with her Que Tip of Love and its Magical Numbing Jizz.
She said I was addicted; I did not deny it.
When I got home, all I wanted was a nice hot cup of coffee, but when it finished brewing, I had to force myself to drink it. My teeth have NEVER been this clean. And White. White teeth! Not all stained with tar and coffee! White!1!! How could I think of defacing them this way?
Oh wait. She gave me a new blue toothbrush. Isn’t that sort of like the morning-after pill for coffee drinkers.. .
Now I keep running my tongue over them loveing ly while I stare, open mouthed and drooling, in front of the mirror trying to figure out if its incest to have my teeth’s baby.
Let me tell you a story. It’s a second hand story. Blue Boy told it to me today.
This is my shark (points to the chalk board where, if you squint and pour liberal amounts of lemon juice in your eyes, you might be able to make out the shape of a shark.) I made it rainbow colored. Want to know why? Becaaaaause the corals in the ocean are all different colored. And fishies like to swim in the corals and so the shark needs to be all rainbow’d colored so he can be sneaking up for the fishies cus he wants to eat the fishies.
Peoples are happy when sharks are all rainbow’d color becuase when they are not rainbow’d colored they can’t be sneaked up to eat the fishes and they have to eat the peoples and the peoples like to have legs that are not eaten.
I’m
really going to miss him when he goes off to kindergarten.
Click it. Soak up all the little details. The shark has teeth. I am the farthest figure on the right. Make a note of the star fish.
UHG. My head is fuzzy with sleepies. My eyes keep crossing; I’m almost nauseous with it!
But I cant leave you with a BRB again, now can I? Lucky for me, my bud Shelli tagged me with a meme. And in an interesting twist, its a sleep meme!
(Before I hopped in the bath (where I promptly fell asleep) I had planned on talking about what a bad quitter I am and how amusing it is to eavesdrop on a dude who has never play scratch lotto before.)
I thought it would be fun to see what things other people do, while getting ready to sleep and/or while sleeping, that is a little odd. I picked the number 6 not because that was all I could come up with for myself, I think I could come up with many more, but because no one ever uses the number 6 for memes. It’s always 5 or 4 or 7, but never 6. What do people have against that number?
6 Weird things I do while getting ready to sleep or while sleeping:
1. I sleep naked becuase seams hurt me. If my sheet has a fold or twist in it under me I wake up with a bruise. Providing, of course, I was able to fall asleep while on it. I’m like that princess who slept on the pee pea.
2. I lay on my left side for almost half a minute. The second I get comfortable I turn over and face the opposite way. When I get comfortable that way, I turn again to lay on my back. After a few minutes, - less than five, - I turn back to my right and fall asleep. I’m like a dog turning in circles on the rug before falling asleep in front of the fire.
3. I cannot sleep with feet that are cold. Or hot. I often leave one foot swaddled in the blanket and one foot outside the blankets, preferably hanging off the edge of the bed. One foot in, one foot out, seems to result in the perfect temperature. I am like a lizard sunning on a rock with my tail in the water.
4. I fall asleep six nights out of seven within five minutes of my head hitting the pillow. If I am over tired, I have trouble sleeping. Even if I am wide awake, hearing the words NightNight coupled with my head on my pillow will send me off into dream land. I’m like a baby with a lullaby.
5. I sleep with a body pillow stretched across the head of the bed. On top of that is another pillow, one that has gone flat. I put my third pillow, a nice firm fluffy one, between my legs. If my knees lay on top of each other, the bone on bone action hurts me and I wake with a bruise. I need the pillow as padding. I’m like china - I need my bubble wrap.
6. When I dream, and I dream often and vividly, I wake myself up, and tell myself that the dream is over. I fall back asleep immediately and continue the dream right where it stopped when I woke up. Same dream. Every Time. All I can remember of it when I wake up is that it was horrible. I’m like Daytime TV; repetitive and crappy.
Now. There you have it. My complicate sleep habits. I could have gone on and on and on, but i really am tired, and I really do want to go to bed! The important thing is this: This is Shelli’s first meme, and I happen to think this is a good one!
I am going to tag six people, BUT I would see at is as a personal favor if you did the meme without being tagged. At the very least, save the instructions in your drafts for a day you are lost for an Idea on what to post!
I tag:
Sheila (Trish… Tom … - you do it too!)
MetalMom
Fracas
Marilyn
Fantastagirl
Amy (do you even do tags?)
Don’t forget to pimp this Meme out people! Lets make this sukah come alive!
BRB.
1
{city name’s} Fire Department responded to 30 calls due to the storm overnight. Incidents included motorists stranded in flooded cards, power lines downed by falling trees, electrical problems from flooding in homes and apartments and alarm systems were malfunctioning because of the moisture. Fire officials say there were not injuries directly related to the storm but damage was extensive.
The force of the water rushing through the storm sewer system was popping manhole covers off overnight.
Now I need animals of the two by two variety…
(gah~wantsmokebad~grghsjdasd)
2
Yup OK then. In an attempt to NOT smoke, which may or may not be a losing battle today.may. might probably. fuck. whatever. here is another edit.
“Mommy. Someone tiny died”
Giggle.
3
Double Crap
The baby just learned how to open doors. That sucks. I guess it was to be expected, he will be three in nine days. but still.
that sucks.
also. guess what the “double” part of double crap is.. I suck
4
so the kids just dug up the back yard. as in oh wow when did we get a golden retriever who likes to dig or ohh! Who bout the bob cat? type holes.
i’m beyond pissed off
We need to get two new tires on the car. It’s not urgent, but we do need them before we go on vacation end of July. We had planned on getting them end of June.
On Thursday, driving home from the city after my Doctors appointment, I stopped at McDonalds to bring home dinner. Turning into the parking lot, I shut the radio off, and as the car slowed down I heard this nasty groaning-grinding noise.
It was coming from the back passenger side tire.
By Saturday, the noise was horrible. It was almost constant. Slowing down, turning, driving fast, we heard it. Now we didn’t have to turn off the radio to hear the tire grinding. Now it was a bit more urgent we get the tires.
We decided that we would have to get the tire replaced immediately, and when the tire was off, the guys at the garage would be able to figure out the noise.
It was a beautiful afternoon here, and I gave Stuperman a frog shaped shower poof, a cup of liquid hand soap and a big bucket of water. I sent him outside to make bubbles.
He decided to wash the car instead.
When he was done I took the garden hose to the car to get the soap off. Black, oily dirt started to pour from the back passenger tire when I sprayed it so I called The husband out. He took off the hubcap for me so I could clean the tire better.
He also took out all the rocks Stuperman had shoved into it.
Sigh. Kids. . .
Pee Ess: I got through Day Two without smoking. It was harder than Day one for some reason..
