*** I found this tonight while cleaning up my Drafts. Obviously It isn’t finished. I have NO idea what this was about, but I find it hilarious I was ready to bear my soul, admit I was wrong. But the question remains. WHAT was I wrong about? Help me figure it out!***
Me being wrong happens VERY rarely. In fact, I think the last time I was wrong about something was in 1997 when I thought that the support post thingy in the underground parking lot was an innocent cement pillar not some deranged Frankenstein-
OMG-alive-thing that was going to jump out and bash in the side of my Dads’ van while I was driving past.
I swear to God, It happened exactly like that too. Bam, out of the blue, it jumped out and attacked the van. A costly mistake, but I owned up to it right away. I’m good like that.
So now Interwebs, you are witnessing history. (Be sure to mark this on your calendar!)
I was wrong.
There I said it. Wrong. Off base. Haventgotaclue x 4. (Heh. Stole that last one from Miss Ann ‘cus it amuses the ever living shit out of me.)
Wrong wrong wrong wrong.
Hi my name is Bluepaintred, and I am stupid.
That sort of wrong.
(why can’t I ever write a short post? I try to I swear I do. I just can’t do it. Adding shit like this doesn’t help either)
OK. Lets do this bullet point to see if it will go faster:
- Today started in a very normal way.
- But
I always is like to think the of the worst possible thing that can happen in any situation.
Being hit by a train while swimming for example. Or having a speck of dust fly up and lodge itself in my belly button and burn its way through my body down to my toes while trying on a new pair of Capri’s.
Some people think this is strange. I do not, because when you are expecting an octopus to leap out of the sewer and drag you under to his deep dark lair to make octo-babies with you, It makes your day So. Much. Better. when you manage to walk across the street unscathed.
I try to instill this wonderful characteristic in my children at times.
For example. With no clue what to get Blue Boy, we guessed and bought a bunch of random crap. I figured If I could make him think that something stupid was his gift, when he opened the actual toys, he would be over the moon.
I gots good logiks, huh?
I told him his present was in a bag on the table. His little face lit with glee as he raced to peek in the bag.
Can I open it? he asked, sounding doubtful.
Yeah. Here. I said as I dumped the bags’ contents on the table. A roll of scotch tape and a package of dry erase markers.
Fully expecting confusion, anger, tears even, I was a little shocked when he looked up at me as if I had told him here’s a million bucks, go buy candy!!
Is this fo’ really my tape? He screamed, clutching it to his chest, knuckles white with the death grip he had on it.
Clearly, we need to take all this crap* back and get another roll…
* Individual photos, ones where I actually tell you what all of this crap is, can be found at Paint!
And over at the Photo Blog, I have photo proof of the difference between boys and girls.
What should we get my four-turning-five-this-Monday year old for his birthday? I think he would be heartbroken if we actually did buy the Polly pocket and barbie like we have been teasing telling him…
enh! I have felt like crap all freaking evening. Stupid head.
I took the buttons off my keyboard because somehow coffee, a lot of coffee, spilt all over it. Then I had to go downstairs and take a picture of the keyboard down there to get them back on right.
I still screwed it up.
Please go here and enter your blog URL. Hilarity WILL Ensue (thanks Monkee, for the link!)
Fuck this is a boring post. I need something exciting besides the six hundred pound lady in sausage casing jeans that she slit deliberately… this was not an accidental overdose of cellulite, she did it voluntarily! On the ass cheeks. And on other worse places I am trying to forget.
Oh God.
I can still see the jiggle.
If:
- You are So mad at someone you want to ___ them.
- You cannot tell them why you are mad for fear you may say something you will regret.
- You KNOW you will say something you will regret.
- They are finally starting to realise I just might be mad at them.
- No fucking shit Sherlock!
- Soon they will ask you what the fuck is wrong.
- And you will still be too mad to say anything.
- However,
- Should you say “nothing”,
- It then makes no sense to bring it up at a later date to be “talked” about!
I am going to bed in hopes of avoiding a confrontation. Discuss.
Not blogging till Friday, eh? Well, I did say if something happened, I would blog. And since no one (roxdar) would answer their phone, I guess I am blogging LOL
A while back, round December, Stuperman was really ill. When he finally got in to see his pediatrician, After a visit to the ER, his doctor put a note on his chart that he was to be seen immediately if I call again. Dr. P. was just as mad as I was at the wait we were given. Now I know, and Dr. P. knows, that the note on Stupe’s chart was for his follow up appointment for his ear. The appointment he had in January.
Seems they forgot to take the note off his chart because I called this morning, thinking it would be a two week wait, and he has an appointment for this afternoon at 1:30. LMAO - Score!
Stuperman has been getting hives, huge angry red ones that itch him like crazy. They last for a day or so, go away completely and then come back worse then the time before. There is no trigger that we can see.
When He crawled out of bed this morning, I saw it was definitely time to get his hives looked at, seeing as he was covered head to toe!
In other news, I offer this tip to females around the world : You should be aware that the shaving of a feline pussy will dullen your razor blade MUCH faster then the shaving of a human pussy. And with razor blades costing 30 bucks for twelve, it’s much better to listen to your husband when he says a cats fur is it’s clothes and cat’s don’t like being naked.
What on earth am I to do with a half shaved pussy?
**EDIT**
from what I could understand, Dr P thinks its an infection of his oil glands caused by beta carotene (??) he has a prescription for antibiotics and a beta blocker? or something. He said in three days this round will clear up, to keep the cream on hand because it will come back again and again due to his fair skindedness…
so all is well.
