I honestly think men should not be allowed to speak without the presence of a lawyer.
We were sitting in Edmond the Tax Dudes‘ little waiting nook when Jittery Joe stuck his hand in his pocket. I knew what was coming. I think this is something all men do when they are bored. It still doesn’t make it right.
Coin Jingling. I hate it. You hate it. We all scream for ice cream It should be outlawed. So should the incessant clicking of pens.
They give me the *shivers*
So, his hands shaking furiously up and down in his pocket, He says “I must have more then ten dollars in here. I wonder where it all comes from.”
In a desperate attempt to stop The Husband from feeling up his coins in a public place, I said “Well dear. After hooking up at a local register, they head to the nearest, and seediest pockets they can find. There, two pennies will fall in love. The product of this union is called a nickle.”
“And the dime?” He asks, eyebrow cocked, hand still pumping away in his pants. I went through the denominations of coin currency, one by one. The penny begot the nickle, the nickle begot the dime, the dime the quarter and so on. I was getting really into my explanations.
For example. Here in Canada we have various animals on our coins. On the nickle, we have the beaver. I explained how sometimes two women fall in love. How they bump beavers to have fun. And then, when they were sure they were in a committed relationship, they go to the piggy bank and are inseminated with coinage. Thus the nickle births the dime.
I am having moderate success with this distraction. His hand has slowed from a fast jerking motion to a slow, rolling motion in his jeans.
And then he has to ruin yet another perfectly good distraction conversation by bringing in Man Logic.
“Two pennies can’t make a nickle. You have to start with the larger coins, because that’s where the smaller ones come from. Five nickles to a quarter, twins for a dime. Like that. The way you are telling it, you end up with negative amounts. Then you have to deal with the …” As his hand resumes its furious pace.
Le Sigh.
∗ Posted by bluepaintred on 04.24.2007
∗ I'm Important too
Stupid men and their ability to screw up a perfectly good story!
Comment by Sheila - April 24, 2007 10:45 pm
Holy crap your fast!! Big gold star for sheila!!
Now to read the post
RoxDar
Comment by Anonymous - April 24, 2007 10:49 pm
Thankfully, my husband does not keep coins in his pocket. Otherwise, instead of your wonderful distraction, I would be saying, “Stop it! You are driving me CRAZY!”
Comment by Lynda - April 24, 2007 11:04 pm
Sheila so i am going to comment on each comment seperatly today. heh. gonna be fun. or maybe annoying. what do you think?
also, med tend to ruin a lot of things…
Comment by Bluepaintred - April 24, 2007 11:49 pm
RoxDar go to her site, she was awarded the first ever BPR firsties award, and then i made her photoshop it for me!
Comment by Bluepaintred - April 24, 2007 11:50 pm
You will be happy to know that I do not jingle coins. In fact, I don’t even like to carry them…
Comment by Mr. Fabulous - April 25, 2007 3:42 am
You can get a beaver for 5 cents in Canada?
Comment by Blogarita - April 25, 2007 5:19 am
I don’t do that. I never use cash and consequently never have coins. I just stick my hand in my pocket and play with my cock instead.
Comment by Avitable - April 25, 2007 5:44 am
I will check Sheila’s site out. Big D doesn’t jingle coins either. But men are obsessed with playing in their pockets. They learn it from a young age. The boy can’t walk with his hands out of his pockets on the way to school. He had his library card yesterday and fiddled with it all the way to school..drove me nuts.
RoxDar
Comment by Anonymous - April 25, 2007 7:26 am
Boys are stupid. Fun to play with, but stupid.
Comment by Finn - April 25, 2007 7:57 am
I’m never going to look at a nickel in quite the same way.
And I grew up near the “Big Nickel” in Sudbury. bahahahahaaaa!
I didn’t know you were a fellow Canadian.
Comment by J. - April 25, 2007 8:20 am
Mr.Fab im kind of shocked you didnt say anything lewd about prarie dogs and pool cues like normal! good job!
Comment by Bluepaintred - April 25, 2007 9:15 am
Blogarita well not my beaver!
Comment by Bluepaintred - April 25, 2007 9:16 am
Avitable so i read that and choked on my sugar crisps! thanks a lot!
Comment by Bluepaintred - April 25, 2007 9:17 am
RoxDar so its supposed to be 20 on friday and sunny today and tommorrow. ignore the card and send him outside. yay summer!
Comment by Bluepaintred - April 25, 2007 9:18 am
J. oh really? a fellow canadian eh? We should make fun of america’s ugly money together!
Comment by Bluepaintred - April 25, 2007 9:20 am
You 2 need your own reality show!
What would he do if you sewed his pockets shut? (take the coins out first)
My “boss” was doing the pen thing…I was about to smack the shit outta him when a customer walked in & he quit. dammit.
Comment by Tug - April 25, 2007 11:12 am
Why are you commenting on each comment seperately?
Comment by Sheila - April 25, 2007 12:01 pm
It makes me feel like I should seperate out my comments.
Comment by Sheila - April 25, 2007 12:02 pm
I hate hearing coinage! I like to hear dollars!!!! lol
Comment by Catch - April 25, 2007 12:51 pm
SD ruins good thoughts like that too.
I especially liked your part about the bumping beavers…very clever.
Comment by The Kept Woman - April 25, 2007 1:13 pm
“I honestly think men should not be allowed to speak without the presence of a lawyer.”
I could not agree with you more.
Comment by Coffee Mom - April 25, 2007 1:27 pm
I have never known men who do the coin jiggling thing. You can make up a story on a whim, can’t you. You should let people give you a topic or a line and then you take it and make it into a story.
Comment by Shelli - April 25, 2007 2:07 pm
If you didn’t love him so much I say trade up to a newer model. Guess you’ll just have to learn to love the coin groppage.
Comment by onetallmomma - April 25, 2007 4:20 pm
The seperate answers make you look even more popular because you have so many comments.
Every time a get a Canadian quarter I wonder if it’s still called a quarter or if it has some other name in Canada. Now I know.
Comment by Marilyn - April 25, 2007 5:31 pm
On the nickle, we have the beaver
Hahahahaha… You said beavers.
Maybe he wasn’t playing with his coins. If you know what I’m saying…
Comment by Todd - April 25, 2007 6:48 pm
Tug Ive been telling JJ that for years!
Sheila Well at first it was to amuse me. plus id get lots of comments even though half of them would be mine. I like comments. then i realised that if i did that to all of them, I would be doing a few hundred hours of DDR just to keep up. So I stopped LOL
Sheila if you want to seperate out your comments, feel free, I might have mentioned a time or two, that I like comments LMAO
Sheila Are you sure? You dont have too!
Catch a woman after my own heart!
The Kept Woman bumping beavers - its what we do to stay warm here in canada! A national pastime of sorts.
Coffee Mom ha! I knew youd agree with me!
Shelli and the little lightbulb above my head flashes to the “on” position
One Tall Momma I happen to believe that if I ever traded him i would be trading down to a different modle, not up. I kinda like him. somedays!
Marilyn we also call quarters sizzlefoot. *wink*
Todd trust me I have played with his “know what I mean” enough to know it doesnt sound like that when it’s shaked!
Comment by Bluepaintred - April 25, 2007 7:42 pm
Can’t stand the jingle of coins in pockets, had a guy at my desk - stood there for 10 minutes and jingled the whole time.
I almost said - “I’m more impressed by money that folds…” but since I’m at the office and they pay me to be nice, I kept my mouth shut.
Comment by Fantastagirl - April 25, 2007 10:22 pm
i can’t stand coin jingling either, but it’s a rather hard habit to break! on the rare occasion I have on loose pants and a pocket full of change (that would be my paycheck actually HAR HAR HAR ;), I can’t help but jingle the coins either!!!
tell him to stop it though, because it looks like he’s playing with his penis in there…lol!
Comment by Webmiztris - April 26, 2007 10:44 am
My husband never plays with his coins, I do.
Comment by squirrel - April 26, 2007 2:44 pm