Yesterday, I said to The Husband that my nose felt runny, but wasn’t drippy enough to drip nor blow. I thought it was weird, but ignored it.
Later that night, my throat was killing me. It was like swallowing golf balls covered in jalapeno peppers every time I swallowed. Or swallowing a porcupine. Or a ball of sandpaper marinated in five alarm hot sauce. Basically it made me want to cry.
I was drinking Cough syrup right outta the bottle.
Today, My throat is much better, but there is an army of little snotz monsters attacking my lip. At bedtime, I told the boys no kissing, that I was a germ factory, and was sort of hurt that Rainbow Man looked so relieved.
He told me that there’s boogers in your nose and you will kiss me gross and wet like Stuperman. Maybe tomorrow. Blue Boy offered to hold the cat to his face, like a furry germ shield, and I could kiss him through that. He giggled, I ended up with enough cat hair stuck to my lip to make me seriously consider shaving.
When I try to talk, I sound like a three pack a day frog. My lips are chapped and bleeding from breathing through my mouth. I’ve applied enough Vaseline to my nose to make me a shoo-in for a porno shoot.
The Husband, ever so concerned, asked me how my breathing was.
Huh?
He clarified, Can you breath out of your nose at all?
I shook my head and blew my nose. Again.
He looked sadly at me and I was touched by his concern. Until he thrust out his pelvis and said I guess that means no blow job tonight, huh?
I agreed that was a safe assumption to make as I didn’t want to be responsible for giving him a head cold.
Did I ever tell you about the time I frostbit my nipples? The blisters and burning? The ointments and doctor appointments? The fact that they are hugely hypersensitive to cold now?
…
We managed to do our shopping this weekend without hitting any vehicles, However we did have this conversation while in the car, which in my opinion is worse. Keep in mind none of the children were with us.
Him: Oh! We have to stop in at Home Depot.
Me: Oh yea!
Him: I would have forgotten except we were just talking about poop!
Yea. Wtf? How does poop remind him of Home Depot again?
Anyway. My throat is super sore. I’m putting off going to the doc because it’s my tonsils and I heard its a bitch of a surgery for an adult to go through. And of course. I’m a wimp.
We spent close to 150 bux on Easter this year. Every year we tell each other we wont go over board. We said it in the car on the way. We said it while walking down the isles filled with chocolaty goodness! We still went overboard.
During Christmas I don’t mind going crazy for the kids, because I buy for that all year long, but we always forget that Easter exist’s until a few days before.
I bought all the ingredients for this today.
Uhm. we had tacos for supper. and I got some V05 hot oil for my super dry hair. I think I’m going to have to give in and have a haircut. My last haircut was September of 05. I’m rather lazy.
Why the hell do 12 Venus razor blades cost 30 freaking bux? that s fucking robbery. Do they jack the price up in the summer cus they know I have to shave my legs now???
Has anyone noticed I have nothing to say?
Tomorrow (Sunday) My Aunts Niece, K, is coming to play with the boys. But we told the boys that, while we were shopping(without them), we bought them a sister and she was being delivered the next day. (Keep in mind I am writing this today which is Saturday, while you are reading this today which is Sunday, to you..confused? I am)
Blue Boy got very concerned when I put him to bed that he was going to get berry cold in the cars house (garage) for sleeping. I asked him why he was going to sleep in the garage and he explained that he was giving his new sister his bed.
Aww.
My throat really hurts.
I’m drinking a cuppa fresh ground Mocha Java.
It’s heavenly.
But hot.
I have no pants on.
but I do have socks with froggy pompoms on.
I have to pee.
ok i luff u buh bye
Perfect.
That’s what today was. Perfect.
If you took away the headache I fought until after seven. The Shovel biting me as I chipped away at the never ending ice. Oh and could’ya take away the part where I throw that snowball at Stuperman and cut open his cheek, too please?
Other then that, Perfect.
- Oh My God Y’all, I got the bestest e-mail ever. Woot Woot!!
- I had time to read a bunch of great Blawgs, and go link jumping.
- I played, real quality play, with the children.
- I drank oodles of lovely coffee.
- Jittery Joe will only end up paying 175.00 for the accident, not the 750.00 we had feared. Can you get better news then that?
- I have a “guest” Sunday Sixer for tomorrow!
Yup. My life is Pretty Damn Good. You all better have a damn good weekend. That’s an Order!
Today The Sun Came Out to Play;
I brought the rain.
Oh Shit!
Wait! I can explain!
It was beautiful today. I spent the early afternoon chipping away at the ice and snow on my deck and sidewalk. The children ran up and down splashing in puddles. We even had our snacks outside! It totally made up for the donuts this morning.
I don’t like to compare my children to each other, but I often do it anyway. Today will be no different.
At two and a half, Rainbow Man had mastered a bicycle with training wheels and by the end of that summer he was riding a two wheeler. Blue boy will be five in a month and he can’t bear the thought of losing his beloved trainers.
It was high time he learn to ride without them. And darn it, I was just the person to do something about it! …heh..
So I found some turny-clicky thingies in a box and took off the screw? nut? bolt? for the training wheels AND remembered to tighten the wheels back up. Sweet! This man crap ain’t so tough!
So I threw him on the bike and promised not to let go. I lied. He bled. Oh well. It’s not like we don’t have band aids.
I decided the problem wasn’t that I let go, but that his seat was too low. I had to lift it… that wasn’t too hard. Then I thought, I should raise the handle bars too!
It was really really really hard to get the handles off. REALLY hard. Wouldn’t you know it, they aren’t supposed to come off! There is some sort of lock-thingy gear-type do-dad in there to ensure that the handles don’t fly off by accident.. and ..uh.. I might have, by accident, broken it.
Fine I did break it. But it’s Not My Fault.
- Its my Father-in-Laws’ fault for not being home when I called to ask him how the clicky thing works. A responsible man would have been home, waiting for my call, ready to tell me to step away from the tools, that he would be right over to help.
- It’s my own Fathers’ fault for having his cell phone turned off. What if it was a real emergency Dad??? What if my leg was broken and I couldn’t get to my coffee cup? What then dad? Huh? HUH?
- And my husband! Who does he think he is? Gone every freaking day to this “job” thing. He knows that the tools live in the garage. He knows what happens when I touch tools. It’s his fault for leaving the clicky-things out in the first place!
- It’s not my fault that RoxDar didn’t answer her phone when I called her to ask if handle bars can be raised! See I did my part, I took the time to wonder if I should do it. If she had just answered her phone, none of this would have happened. For Shame RoxDar. For Shame!
I think that you four have a lot of explaining to do to that poor, heart broken little boy. And next time, Please people, Think of the children!
Pee Ess: An alternate title to this post might be Denial.
