Yesterday, I said to The Husband that my nose felt runny, but wasn’t drippy enough to drip nor blow. I thought it was weird, but ignored it.
Later that night, my throat was killing me. It was like swallowing golf balls covered in jalapeno peppers every time I swallowed. Or swallowing a porcupine. Or a ball of sandpaper marinated in five alarm hot sauce. Basically it made me want to cry.
I was drinking Cough syrup right outta the bottle.
Today, My throat is much better, but there is an army of little snotz monsters attacking my lip. At bedtime, I told the boys no kissing, that I was a germ factory, and was sort of hurt that Rainbow Man looked so relieved.
He told me that there’s boogers in your nose and you will kiss me gross and wet like Stuperman. Maybe tomorrow. Blue Boy offered to hold the cat to his face, like a furry germ shield, and I could kiss him through that. He giggled, I ended up with enough cat hair stuck to my lip to make me seriously consider shaving.
When I try to talk, I sound like a three pack a day frog. My lips are chapped and bleeding from breathing through my mouth. I’ve applied enough Vaseline to my nose to make me a shoo-in for a porno shoot.
The Husband, ever so concerned, asked me how my breathing was.
Huh?
He clarified, Can you breath out of your nose at all?
I shook my head and blew my nose. Again.
He looked sadly at me and I was touched by his concern. Until he thrust out his pelvis and said I guess that means no blow job tonight, huh?
I agreed that was a safe assumption to make as I didn’t want to be responsible for giving him a head cold.
∗ Posted by bluepaintred on 03.25.2007
∗ I'm Important too
Men don’t get it do they? A blow job in perfect health is not that great of a thing, a blowjob when you can’t breath through your nose is suicide…geez!
Sorry about the snot!
Comment by Jerri Ann - March 25, 2007 10:33 pm
Geez, that ‘head cold’ line nearly made me spit my diet coke out on the keyboard!
Comment by Sheila - March 25, 2007 10:37 pm
Jerri Ann I think he was joking. maybe. I still ahve hands…wait a minute! So does he!
Sheila ohh Jerri Ann just stole your customary First Commenter Place!
Is diet coke as hard to clean up as say, ravioli?
Comment by Bluepaintred - March 25, 2007 10:48 pm
LOL LOL LOL
That is SO TYPICAL of MEN, isn’t that?
Comment by Curiosity.Killer - March 26, 2007 12:03 am
I rarely drink cough syrup, but when I do drink cough syrup, I drink it right out of the bottle too.
Just for fun. I don’t need to be sick or nut’in.
Comment by Curiosity.Killer - March 26, 2007 12:11 am
lol
Comment by DeeJay - March 26, 2007 6:39 am
CK yup. [cowboy accent]Them That Guys Shore Do Like Them Blow Jobs
CK oh your so bad!
DeeJay*snikcer*
Comment by Bluepaintred - March 26, 2007 7:07 am
Head cold. Tee hee.
Personally, I cannot survive a cold without nasal spray. If momma can’t breathe through her nose, nobody gonna be happy…
Comment by Finn - March 26, 2007 7:56 am
I’m sorry you aren’t feeling better. I guess that means I have to keep waiting for that nipple story.
Comment by Nobody™ - March 26, 2007 8:10 am
Finn i like to does a cold with lots of coffee, sweaters and lankies. and the occasional cough syrup chug.
Nobody Im sorry you came all this way, expecting nipples and I didnt deliver. Im a bad bad little girl
Comment by Bluepaintred - March 26, 2007 8:22 am
gargle your mouth with alcohol….rye, whiskey, brandy….it kills the germs and feels soothing on the throat…way better than any cough syrup. trust me, i just had strep, sinus infection and a nasty cough….gargled one night about 10 times and it worked!!!
sista-in-law
Comment by Anonymous - March 26, 2007 9:37 am
ahh Blue, take care of yourself and stay away from JJ! That cant do your throat any good! LOL
Comment by Catch - March 26, 2007 10:01 am
omg, I woulda punched him in the face!! LOL
Comment by Webmiztris - March 26, 2007 10:16 am
Sista What do I do if there is no alchohol in the house?
Catch I will
WebMiz It was all in fun! Simmer Down!!LOL
Comment by Bluepaintred - March 26, 2007 11:11 am
But on the plus side, you can’t taste very well when your nose is plugged up….
Comment by Diesel - March 26, 2007 11:17 am
Diesel OMG why didnt I think of that! that’s perfect!
Comment by Bluepaintred - March 26, 2007 11:20 am
LMAO! But I do feel sorry for you too! LOL
Comment by squirrel - March 26, 2007 11:54 am
Squirrel Oh good! I was going for pity! Yay. also Im eating the easter candy. make me stop please!
Comment by Bluepaintred - March 26, 2007 11:58 am
Ah yes, leave it to the husband to put things in perspective so succintly. Hope you feel better soon, sounds like allergies. Tell hubs you’re allergic to blow jobs.
Comment by Katherine - March 26, 2007 11:58 am
Diet Coke isn’t any easier to clean up than ravioli… but, I’m much more upset when I waste Diet Coke.
And, you musta posted earlier last night than normal… thats why I missed out on being first!
Comment by Sheila - March 26, 2007 12:14 pm
Kathrine but i like them. It would suck to be allergic to them. I just hate the end product LOL
Sheila yea i did post early. in fact me and the husband went to bed at 10:30, we normally go to bed at 12.
Comment by Bluepaintred - March 26, 2007 12:25 pm
Hey, I’m kinda sick today too. We’re snot buddies! =)
Comment by Monkee - March 26, 2007 12:56 pm
Monkee Whooo Hooo! can you pass the kleenex?
Comment by Bluepaintred - March 26, 2007 12:58 pm
Oh, Feel better soon.
Comment by onetallmomma - March 26, 2007 1:52 pm
One Tall Momma NO! Sheesh! why are you always telling me what to do ? have a nice day! Have fun! Get better Live long and prosper! Jest quit LOL LOL
Comment by Bluepaintred - March 26, 2007 1:55 pm
I hope you are feeling better soon…I’ve come to the conclusion that most men are jealous of dogs, because they can lick their own balls.
Comment by Fantastagirl - March 26, 2007 5:53 pm
He is SO my hero. And so are you.
Please move next door to us.
Comment by Mr. Fabulous - March 26, 2007 5:55 pm
Fantastagirl Some days I wish I was a cat. . . Spend all day sleeping and licking various body parts. It would be great!
Mr Fab heh you made him giggle. hes game to move next door but only because you have no winter. and bunnies. and a hot tub
Comment by Bluepaintred - March 26, 2007 6:40 pm
Take allavert, it’s awesome. You can still ‘pretend’ to be sick…
What’s a head job?
JUST JOKING - it hasn’t been THAT long. or I have an amazing memory, one of the two.
Comment by Tug - March 26, 2007 6:45 pm
Bwahahahaha!!
I hope you feel better. Hugs from a very long distance so that I don’t get sick.
Comment by Shelli - March 26, 2007 7:20 pm
Shelli Wanna hug through the cat?
Comment by Bluepaintred - March 26, 2007 7:50 pm
Tug He you. JJ said I forgot you. And I did. Im sorry.
a head job is when you tell two two year olds that there are wee bloodthirsty sharks this big in teh puddles in an effor to keep them out of the water.
Comment by Bluepaintred - March 26, 2007 8:11 pm
rotfl…”a head cold”
Comment by Coffee Mom - March 27, 2007 9:30 am
ROTFLMAO Headcold!!!!!!
Comment by Amy - March 27, 2007 7:15 pm
Coffee Mom and Amy what do you suppose happens when “it” sneezes?
Comment by Bluepaintred - March 27, 2007 8:44 pm
well Blue my theory about when “it” sneezes, is 9 months of shear hell for whomever “it” sneezes in.
Comment by Coffee Mom - March 28, 2007 1:52 pm